Thank you for dropping by!

I truly appreciate that you've decided to share part of your day in my world. I hope your time has been well spent and I've made you smile, laugh or think.





Sunday, October 18, 2015

If a Tree Falls in a Forest, Does it Happen if I Don't Post it on Facebook?

Day 2 of life sans Facebook.

I'm holding strong.

I had the shakes a bit, but I'm doing well.

Actually, to be honest, I'm doing really well.

As in I'm wondering why I didn't pull the plug a bit earlier.

I do feel that I have a lot to share.  Today I took a very cool picture of the mountains in the rain.  My daughter had a decent soccer game even though they got their butts kicked.

I saw some funny things.

Yet, alas, when I would reach for my phone I would remember that the world was suddenly smaller.

So if these events are undocumented, did they actually happen?  Are they all in my mind?

One of my favorite features of Facebook has been when they randomly post something from the past.  It's nice.  My kids have grown SOOOO much.  As have I, sadly not in a good way.

But if I'm not posting, will I remember?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say I will remember most things. Not everything.  But it will force me to print more pictures.

Because here's the funny thing, after only 2 days, I feel a bit more connected to my family.  It's awkward.  Uncomfortable even, but we will adjust and adapt.

I've actually been a lot calmer, too. 

I haven't gotten in a pissing match with someone I don't know at all today.  No one has insisted that everyone needs a machine gun to survive.  No one has called me a capitalist pig.

In fact, my life consisted of a fun soccer game, some errands, dinner with my family- honestly, it was all good.

Really good.

My stress level after only a few days was markedly better.

I think it will be interesting to see the people with whom I actually do stay in touch.  I have some friends I've picked up via Facebook that I'm pretty sure we are reconnected for good.  I also have some friends that I used to see and speak with regularly in the real world that became Facebook friends.  They didn't feel the need to stay in touch since I posted so frequently.  What they didn't realize is that I rarely posted negative stuff on Facebook so they truly have had no idea how I've been the last few years. And I didn't do that to post a fake view of my life, just most of the negative things that were happening in my life were personal, involved others and were private and not needing to be shared.  My random "My head is going to explode posts" usually were limited to interactions with strangers that occurred unfortunately following something real that had happened.  So while it seemed that I shared a lot, I didn't share the real stuff.  And oddly some very good friends became acquaintances.

Weird, huh?

But the general sense of peace has been significant. 

And I honestly wasn't addicted- I'm happy to have quit.  I'm not sneaking back on or checking my husband's updates.  I thought it was fun while it lasted, but like I was with relationships in my 20s, once it was over, it was over.

I truly was impressed with the response I received on it.  When I tried to quit a few years ago because I was tired of stupid people, my friends begged me to stay.  I even got a mug from my friend Gwen that said "The Erma Bombeck of Facebook."  It obligated me to stay (I had told her if she did it, I would stay).

This time, I think my reasons- largely security of my family- were valid.  People understood.  I don't live in the safest place.  I love Las Vegas, but it has an unusual amount of creepy people.  All large cities do, but we tend to attract an unsavory bunch.  I live far enough away from the "ick" but these days, who really knows?

But the messages I received this time actually made me cry.  I had mentioned that I was pretty sure my silly posts had created some positive energy for people. I truly had no idea.  I'm not going to share because they were privately sent but they meant the world to me.

So my message today is this:

Smile at people.  When you see a stranger tell them you like their outfit.  Or their hair.  Or their smile.  Or that their children are nice.

Interact with people.  Real or cyber world.

Reach out.

Radiate positive energy.

It IS contagious.

I truly had no clue how massive the outpouring of love and well wishes would be. 

It was like attending my own funeral in some ways.

And it was nice to see a packed house full of kindness.

It inspired me to take that energy and redirect it to the "real" world. 

Not through rallies or political movements. 

Just being nice. 

Because apparently it DID mean something.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Departing Facebook and Tying Up Some Loose Ends

So I decide to leave Facebook for realsies this time.

It wasn't because I was offended. I've become masterful at blocking content.

In fact, Facebook had a lot of great perks.  I graduated from college right before the internet took off.  I had one friend with an email.  Facebook allowed me to get back in touch with some amazing people that I adored.

I also think I was a positive influence on people.  And I say that not arrogantly, but honestly.  People have sent me messages thanking me for that.  I have friends that started making time for date nights with their spouses, coffee with their kids- heck, I even helped start a book club 2,000 miles away.  A bunch of people became friends in real time because I introduced them via cyberland.  Cool.  I'd like to think that maybe I made being a mom and a wife and a friend look fun.  Or at least funny when life didn't go, as I like to say, as the brochure suggested.

I took this week off from work and kinda sorta from everything.  This is the first time I've done that in pretty much my entire working life.  I've worked for as long as I can remember.  As I built my business, I would take a weekend here or there, but rarely anything more than a few days.  Most trips were to see family.  Most days off are to do something with the kids or doctors appointments or something that has to be done- rarely anything fun.  We do the family vacation, but if you're a mom you know that means you plan, you coordinate the travel- you don't actually get to relax much.  It's fun, but I always come back to a full in basket and more tired than when we left.

When I told Shane I was taking a week off for the heck of it he asked what I would be doing.  I said there was a really strong likelihood I would sit in my pajamas and binge watch Netflix all week. 

Instead, on Monday, my battery died so that was 2 1/2 hours out of my day.  My afternoon naps were non-existent- the neighbors are putting in their backyard which involves jackhammering of some sort.  There were kids to pick up and drop off. 

But I got to do some fun things- I went to a PTA meeting at the middle school, the homeowner's association meeting-- I know they don't sound fun but when you run a business, try to stay active in the community and  have a family, those things never happen. 

And most importantly, this week I got to breathe a little.  I have the best staff in the world.  They helped me plan the week off because I think they saw my head was about to explode.  Last year was crazy busy, this year has been more of the same- all fantastic stuff, too-- just a lot.  I'm just not in a happy place.  I tried.  I did.  Nothing was working.

Then I realized I need to stop the noise.  Take a week to simply be.  With no expectations.  I had a few small work things to take care of- it was fine.  I'm taking a great online class that actually feeds into a week off.

But I did the things I wanted to do.  My closet has never been organized since we moved. It still isn't.  My home office that used to look great is a bit of a trainwreck since the kids have moved into it- I may do that tomorrow.  Or not.

I test drove some cars.  It was fun.  It wasn't rushed. I could think clearly.

And it made me realize that I need to live a quieter life for now.

Which involved shutting down social media for awhile.  At least Facebook.

It is largely due to the fact that I hate that my friends can see comments I make on other threads.  I hate that people can see pictures or posts when others comment.  I don't know who has pictures of my children.  It's creepier than shit- especially living in Las Vegas.

I know there are settings- I'm fairly tech savvy.  But with every update, it required too much work.  I don't need it.  It's just one more thing sucking time and potentially putting my family in danger.

There were wonderful things about it, but not enough in the end to keep it going.

I will hopefully be blogging more because let's face it- you can't shut me up.  So feel free to comment here.

And there is one very important loose end that I need to tie up--

I promised to write 31 nice things about my husband.  I've made it to 14.

So here are the rest- all at once.

15)  He doesn't mind that I got fat.  Or at least he doesn't say anything.
16) He's lost over 100 lbs through diet and exercise and kept it off for nearly 5 years. 
17) He's a fantastic kisser which I constantly mention because I think it might be the glue that keeps our marriage together.
18) As much as he used to hate to socialize, he is Mr. Socialite now and I think looks forward to hosting parties as much as me.
19) Without my husband I would be living a very different life and I can't imagine how lonely it would be without my family.
20) He loves to beat me at things.  He tries to pretend that he likes that I'm smart, but yesterday I was having trouble with our electronic lock and he simply did it old school, manual style.  It was hilarious- I was standing there all "Oh yea... I forgot about that..."  He beamed with pride that he had bested me.
21) He's smarter than people think.  Seriously.  He can hold his own with anyone that I know.  Just because he's nice and a red head (hee hee) doesn't mean he's not smart.
22) He has an amazing mother that I adore.  She's one of my very best friends.
23) He loves the Jacuzzi like no other.  It's his happy place.
24) He has told me that he loves me every single day that we've been married.
25) He tolerates my cooking.  Not because I'm a bad cook- I'm not in the least.  But I know he'd prefer Hamburger Helper and mac-n-cheese to spaghetti squash or herb roasted chicken most days.
26) He put up with my dog Charlie for years.  Rocky, the other "child" I brought into the marriage was easy to fall in love with, but Charlie and he did not get along.  For years.  And he cried as much as me when he passed.
27) He does not blame me for our failure to have a "real" hunting dog.  I insisted that we adopt a rescue dog.  He fell in love with Oliver at first site- because he's gorgeous and goofy.  Unfortunately, Oliver is not a lab.  And he is terrified of water.  So much for his hunting dog....
28) He is constantly trying to be a better father.  He has a short fuse and it's been impressive to watch him put effort into controlling it over the years.  He didn't take the "Well that's how I am" position.
29)  He thinks Dutch Ovening me is HILARIOUS.  It is not. 
30) He is much more liberal than you would guess. 
31) No one has ever loved me more completely than he has- all of me.  Every flaw.  And that is quite impressive.

So you can all gag now. 

But I didn't want to leave my Facebook friends hanging...

I will continue to blog, so be sure to subscribe!