Thank you for dropping by!

I truly appreciate that you've decided to share part of your day in my world. I hope your time has been well spent and I've made you smile, laugh or think.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

I Just Didn't Think it was Funny

I'm a nerd.  As a kid I liked watching the White House Correspondents Dinner.

I did. 

It took my favorite things- humor, writing & politics and rolled them into a fancy event.  I loved watching the Presidents TRY to make a joke.  I liked how they could laugh at themselves.  I like how they could take being laughed at and still shake hands and smile.

I usually think Michelle Wolf is hilarious.

But I didn't at the WHCD.

I know most of us snowflakes find it ironic that the people hurling insults at us constantly find it hard to laugh at themselves.

Watch Fox News for a few hours.  You'd lose your sense of humor, too.

I get that the same people who called Michelle Obama all kinds of names for wanting kids to have healthy options at restaurants and to move more are upset that we joke about Melania's aversion to touching her husband.  I get that what we laugh at is real and they made up stuff.

Or posted memes of President Obama being lynched.

And poor Malia-- one game of beer pong and she's a lush.

I hate the obvious hypocrisy, too.

Firing the chaplain for saying to remember the poor?  Wow. 

The inaugural crowd- I mean, c'mon, there are photographs.  Lots of  photographs.  And yes, it rained.  God did NOT turn it into a beautiful day for Trump.  It rained. 

I don't know how Jim Acosta hasn't stood up and just shouted "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU ARE LYING!  LIAR! LIAR!  DRESS ON FIRE!" at Sarah Sanders.

So I don't like the administration.  I like Michelle Wolf.

What's my issue?

It wasn't funny to me.

It just wasn't.

It was like the mean, pretty cheerleader making fun of the gawky band kid and thinking they were too dumb to get it.

Oh wait- that was my life.

So yes, I'm a little sensitive about it.

I get that the POTUS mocks people.  I cringed when after making fun of Rubio's sweating & his ears during the Republican debates he turned to Ted Cruz and said "What are you laughing at?  No one likes you- you don't have any friends!"

I never thought I'd have any compassion for EITHER of those men, but I did.

And it seemed like nothing more than a bully.

I don't know if I necessarily thing that's a bad thing.

Or I should say I didn't think it was a bad thing-- but it was. 

Because the WHCD is not only a roast, it's a time to lay down the swords and have a fun night.  The humor is usually self-deprecating as well as sarcastic against political enemies.

Her comments reminded me of Trump at the Al Smith Charity dinner. 

I didn't like them then and I don't like them now.

I happened to agree with her comments on most things.  I loved the "How Broke is He?" bit.  Spot on. But did I laugh?  No.

I loved that she tore into the press for the role that they played in the election.

But it didn't help.  It made things worse.

When Rubio mocked Trump's hands after months of being insulted by Trump-- it backfired.  Horribly.

For whatever reason, Trump is like that obnoxious relative that gets a Get Out of Jail free card for being rude at every family event because "well, that's just how he is... you can't change him."

I'm sick of people like that.

And dishing it back never works.


And again, maybe because I'm fat and don't know how to put on makeup that I'm a little protective of Sarah Sanders. I miss her bright patterned dresses because I wear them, too.  I've watched her slowly diminish before our eyes, falling into the back drop- plain clothes, losing weight-- and please don't get me wrong- I think she supports a lot of what I do not.  And if she didn't, she should quit.  Fox will give her a show.  At the rate that their hosts are leaving, she can even start with a good time slot. She has options and she chooses to say so she must believe in what she's doing.

But joke about her needing glasses.  Or joke about all the people she's had to deal with in her short tenure.  Joke that she's related to Bernie.

Or maybe the reason I didn't laugh is because it's not Michelle Wolf that wasn't funny, it's that I can't find anything funny about this administration.

One of my Republican friends is over the chaos and she said "Who is against clean air & clean water?  What is wrong with them?"

I look at the world my children are going to have to deal with.  It frightens me.  I have friends whose families could be torn apart because of a broken immigration system.  Classrooms are packed and they want to divert more money to private schools.  Friends who are deployed didn't get paid because they aren't hiring people to process payments because it's silly overhead. 

So maybe after all it wasn't Michelle Wolf that wasn't funny, it's that Trump is not a laughing matter.

At least not to me.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

These Kids Today....

I'm not posting anything on Facebook about the shooting in Florida because I can't have another discussion on gun control.  I'll comment but I'm not posting memes, opinions, nada.  I will vote and testify on behalf of legislation. But social media...

I can't.

It doesn't seem to make much difference to those folks who are dug in that ANY gun legislation is the equivalent of Big Brother taking their guns.

But what I will happily defend, with every ounce of my soul are "kids today."

Leave. Them. Alone.


You know who is raising the kids today?  My generation.  And you know who raised us?  The senior citizens.

So if you're complaining about parents and kids- look in the mirror.

First and foremost-- and I'm going to go to internet universal anger font- CAPS-

Just stop.

It was not great.  Racism was awful.  We just watched "Wonder" this weekend- fantastic movie.  The oldest daughter in the film has a boyfriend.  She was white and he was black.  It wasn't even a topic or mentioned and my children didn't think a thing about it. That's awesome.

When "Jungle Fever" came out, everyone about crapped their pants.  The "Jefferson's" upstairs neighbors who were a mixed race couple were the butt of jokes.  They couldn't even find a biracial actress to play the daughter.

My kids' classes are diverse.  There are kids of every race, every mix-- and they talk about it.  It's not the white blind comment of "I don't notice color"- it's the complete embracing of the fact that their friends are different.  They think it's neat that they celebrate different holidays or celebrate holidays differently.

And sexism.  While things aren't great, women are running for office in record numbers.  It's discussed and talked about.  Women have choices- to have a family, to not have a family, to stay at home with their children or to work. 

And on the flip side of that, I have friends who are stay at home dads.  My dad and I were close and I remember that being unusual when he went on field trips as a "Room Mom."  Now, my husband is extremely involved in our children's lives.  Far more than his father was in his life.  He changed diapers.  If the kids are sick we both decide who has the busier day and needs to go in.  He's taken them to the orthodontist, the doctor, picks them up from school.  And he's not the only dad doing this.

Which brings me to my next issue...

They weren't.  At all.

And if you're old and crabby, all I can say is look at your kids.  Are they all that great?  Are they self supporting?  And they happily married?  Are they good parents?  Because if they aren't, newsflash... maybe it was you.

Crappy parents have been around for years and years and years.

Parents today are held to ridiculous standards.  We are required to monitor our child 24/7 in a truly crazy world of electronics and the internet.

My parents pretty much said "Be home when the street lights start coming on."

Kids drank.  They partied.  They did drugs.

No one thought to blame their parents for it, though.

Helicopter parents?  That was a thing back in the 70s and 80s.  I remember kids bringing in their science fair projects and I would think "They are morons... they didn't do that.." or 4-H projects.. give me a break.  And the kids like me who did do their own projects would sit there and think how much it sucked.

Or the kids who made teams because their parents interfered....

Nothing has changed.

Except the one thing I will give you.... see the next section...

Teachers had more authority.  They weren't being told what to teach in a minute by minute "script."

Schools weren't worried about getting sued.

Schools were funded and they had smaller classrooms so teachers got to know the students.

We had recess so the ADHD kids could get that energy out.  It also gave us time for socializing which clearly based on Facebook conversations is a lost art.

And if I think pressure is worse on parents these days-- the pressure on teachers is tenfold.  They are responsible for not only teaching the materials, but ensuring a stress free work environment


What. The. Living. Heck.

No.  Just no.

I don't want loaded weapons in my kids' classrooms.  You don't think a kid might grab that from a teacher?!?!  You don't think a teacher might snap and shoot a kid?!?! 

I wouldn't want a SWAT officer teaching Calculus and I don't want the Calculus teacher trying to be a sharpshooter.

So teachers- let's leave them alone.

Oh and yes, I'm married to one.

And yes, I'm a parent to 2 really awesome kids.

They are kids who say please and thank you. They are kids who complete their own projects.  They are good students and good friends. 

And I am a very average parent.  My kids are great because I have a great mother in law.  They are great because they see my husband and I work together as a team.  They are great because they've had great teachers. They are great because they have access to things I didn't through the internet.  They are great because they were born great and I've simply tried really hard not to screw it up.

I see them every day.  I see my children's friends.  They are smart and kind and open minded and passionate.  I see my husband's students- some who come from absolute poverty- and how hard they work in a world that is fighting them every step of the way. 

Kids graduate from high school and minimum wage hasn't increased since 2009- almost a decade.  It costs $100,000 to attend a 4 year public university- what kid can pay for that?  There are no summer jobs that can pay for that.  Your summer job mowing lawns might have covered tuition 30 years ago, but aside from internet bitcoin hacker, they don't have a chance of being able to pay their own tuition.

They graduate buried in debt- with jobs paying ridiculously low wages- then they get trashed for having to live at home.


The kids I saw on TV the past week prove my point.  They are strong.  They are brave. They are informed.

They are the future and it makes me happy.

If you think everything sucks now and kids suck and parents suck my final thoughts for you are:


Saturday, January 6, 2018

Composting, the InstaPot, Air Fryers & Other Online Fighting Topics

In an era of today's great political divide, surprisingly, the most vicious debates that I've seen firsthand online have been over Air Fryers, Composting and the InstaPot.

I'm not kidding you.

My VERY strong political beliefs aside, these battles have been far more vicious than anything political.

To a point that it's hilarious.

I like to garden. A lot.  In fact, I have been gardening since I was 7 or 8 years old.  I grew up in a rural community and was in 4-H.  I have friends who are farmers.  I can tell the difference between the smell of cow manure and horse manure - as I like to joke, I know my shit.

When we moved into our new house about 3 years ago, I was putting in my new garden and I thought "Hey- I should use Facebook for something other than posting memes..." and I joined a local gardening group.

Now, if you're not a produce gardener, I should tell you that the it is NOT a homogeneous group.  You might think we are a bunch of hippies getting back to our roots. This is not true.  There are also a lot of "prepper" type people who are living off the grid or trying to do so.  There are also a lot of immigrants who always gardened in their home countries and it's part of who they are.  There are people with health issues.  There are people like me who are hobbyists and simply like growing things.

I would argue that we all have  a bit of the off gridder in us, if we were really honest, but that's a blog for another day.

You might also assume that people who grow things are patient.  Because it takes patience to grow things.

This also would be a wrong assumption.

I assumed the forum would be a great place to exchange ideas and techniques.  It was a nice reprieve from the online hatred the presidential election was spewing.  And for the most part, it is an awesome group.

Expect for when the "experts" drop in.

In gardening, there are people called Master Gardeners who take extensive coursework in growing in their specific zone.  These people actually ARE experts.  We have quite a few in the group.  Or we did... they may have run away, I'm not sure.

These are not the experts to whom I am referring.

I am referencing the people who think they are experts.  They are not open to ANY other ideas except for their own.  Which makes me wonder why they would join a group- oh wait- they join to share their brilliance with the rest of us.

In this group, we have gone fisticuff over things like USING REGULAR UNFILTERED WATER ON ONE'S GARDEN!  Gasp!  The horror.  In order to grow anything, you MUST have a filtration system.

Um.... no.

There are plenty of reasons to have a filtration system.  It absolutely is better for microbes.  No doubt.  However, you can grown a healthy garden using regular old water.  You need to amend the soil.  You'll probably need to replace it at some point.  But it is NOT a tragedy to not want to spend hundreds of dollars on a system so you can grow a few tomato plants.

Also, I use corrugated metal for my garden beds.  Without getting too sciencey on you, it actually stays cool in the summer and helps my soil stay cool & moist- a big deal in the desert southwest.  I bought them because they look really cool.  I also have been having an enormous amount of success with them.

Yes.  Really.  I have.  Honest.

But no- that's impossible because metal gets hot and I'm lying.  Or so the experts say.  So I post pictures of my garden.  It's a fluke.

Hey, maybe.  Or maybe it's science.  Physics actually.

But the debate on the composting was the best.

I'm not even sure how it started, but it did.  I started reading about 100 comments into the Great Compost Debate of 2016.  It got mean.  It got nasty.

And I'm just sitting there, reading, cracking up, laughing my ass off.

The temperature of the compost.  The content.  How much water to add.  When to use a starter. 

People were arguing over rotting garbage techniques.

Grown adults acting like 3 year olds towards people they've never met.

It was funny yet sad.

Around that same time, I joined an InstaPot group because- and don't hurt me- I had one and didn't like it.  I have a Breville that is waaaaay better, but everyone raved about these things so they went on a super sale at Amazon and I thought I'd try it.  My opinion was not swayed.

So I go to this group.  The recipes people were posting left me baffled- I mean, I can roast a chicken in an hour and 15 minutes.  It wasn't any faster.  But I would read and keep my comments to myself.

And then one day, it happened.

A woman named Angela posted something like "I've had my InstaPot for a few months and I honestly don't like it.  Am I missing something?"

Sweet. Baby. Jesus. 


After someone posted "Why would you join this group if you don't like it?!?!"

To which she replied: "To see if I was missing something... "

And I added: "You're not alone.  That's why I'm here.  I still don't get it...I think it's great for maybe people who didn't normally cook. I'm not into slow cookers either."

Which was hatespeak.  I had now insulted them.

Most of the people that I know that think the InstaPot is the be all, end all, really hated cooking and this seems to inspire them.  Not all, but most.  Also, I do not like pot roast.  Ever.  No matter how tender.

I then said I could grill chicken breasts, make rice and steam veggies in 30 minutes- so pressure cooking something in 90 minutes wasn't really "faster."

Well, call me a wizard but that was an impossible feat and poor Angela and I were burned at the stake.

Of course, I'm cracking up at the illiterate insults being thrown at me.

So I left that group.

A few days ago my amazing Breville Smart Oven died and I replaced it with the newer version that includes an air fryer.  I went to a group to get some recipes.  (I promise, I don't work for Breville- I just happen to LOVE their products.).

Within 2 days, the same thing happened.  A woman asked a pretty innocent question and someone tossed back a snarky answer.  And downward it spiraled.

Online bullying at its best.

Over a kitchen appliance.

It's utterly and completely ridiculous.

I can't imagine that any of these people would behave this way in the real world.  I've met people in our gardening group over the past few years and they are always amazed that I'm the same person online (a bit less quick witted... I have more time to write funny things) as I am offline.

But seriously people- if you're fighting with people online over the benefits of an InstaPot and calling them names for not loving it- get a life.  Truly.  Log out.  Talk to some real people.  Breathe.

I don't anticipate staying in the Air Fryer group any longer either.

The gardening group has done a great job booting the nasty people out.  Their purpose is to encourage others to garden- preferably organic, but it's okay if you don't have the time to do that.  It's ALL better than commercial produce and it's fun.

So before you start typing a 15 minute response to someone you've never met because they don't like a design you do, a team you do or whatever you are disagreeing about- stop.

Does it really matter?  What is your end game?  To make some new mother who hasn't slept in a month feel like crap because her baby won't sleep through the night?  To convince them that the Steelers are the greatest team ever?  To make yourself feel better?

Type and then before you hit post- delete it.

Making fun of other people online, taunting, bullying, being an ass-- the world needs less of that.

If there's nothing positive to your comments, don't make them.

Don't be the jerk that always interrupted class in high school.

Be an adult.  Walk away.

Because here's the thing- YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE THIS PEOPLE.

I comment on Twitter to politicians quite a bit- and while it is snarky, I include data in my response.  They are public figures.  They put themselves out there for feedback.  I'm never mean, vicious or personal.

But I don't attack people who comment.  Because I don't know them and I'm pretty sure it doesn't change their minds or values.

So maybe if everyone could have a resolution this year, it would be to stop the online bullying crap.  The snarkiness.  Be a little nicer online.

The interwebz was once a giant library of shared ideas. 

We should at least try. 

You might even learn a thing or two.

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Holiday Thoughts & Such

It's Christmas Eve and we just made some cookies... kids fought and argued with each other because that's what brothers and sisters do.

I had music in the background, couldn't find half my crap, the kitchen is a mess and we still have to cut out the cookies, dip the peanut balls and ice things... and we have a dinner reservation in a few hours.  So we'll do it after.

Did I mention I finally caught the cold that everyone else in my house had which is why we are doing cookies now?  And of course, I got the worst version of it because it clearly had fortified before hitting me.

I still have some gifts to wrap, too.

I haven't even watched "Love, Actually"yet.

But I am happy.

In 2016, everyone kept posting and joking about how it sucked.  Celebrities died. And then, of course, our great orange leader became dictator.  Fun times.  I kept saying "Don't taunt karma...."

But 2016 had some other suckage for me.  It started out great- hanging with Bernie, almost winning the caucus here (we didn't, then we did, then we didn't... crazy times).  My business did really well.  I was in our new house.  I was losing tons of weight.

It looked fantastic on the outside.

In fact, almost glamorous.

But we almost got divorced.  For realsies.  I lost a lot of friends over politics (and honestly, who DIDN'T know I was a giant liberal?  Seriously, how good of friends were we if that offends you?  My real friends- from both parties- knew this and we're still friends). And I was sick and didn't even know it. My kids suffered as well because I was grouchy and tired and a real bitch.

And a lot of it really came crashing down this year and because I was sick, I was forced to stop.

To say no.

To sit on my butt, in fact.

A butt that is much larger.

MUCH larger.

Because as shitty as everything had been, sitting on the couch, I saw how really awesome my life is.

My husband stepped up.  Big time. My kids really enjoyed the more accessible mom.  I got my funny back, too.

And once I started feeling better, I blew out my ankle, ended up back on the couch because that's how my life rolls.

But what a good life it is.

We had more family time and did more silly stupid things this year than ever.

I had thought when kids got older, they would want to spend less time with me-- but no, we all kinda came together this past year.

Our dinner conversations range from movies to geopolitical unrest to farts.  Usually within one meal. 

Don't get me wrong- I'm still very angry about things in the world. 

But about mid fall, I gave up letting it prevent me from enjoying the good times.

Ever since I read "The Road"- what a horrible, awful book that I'll never shake- I've always kinda thought the apocalypse could happen tomorrow and what would I take with me?  Would the good times in my heart pull me through the awfulness that lie ahead?  Do I cherish the good times enough to get me through the bad times?

It's a bizarre way to live life, I know.

But I had gotten away from it.

I have some friends facing some very serious crises in their lives- deportation, health issues because they can't afford their insurance (some are life and death) and a few friends who have cancer that is incurable- no matter their insurance. 

Yet all those people post pictures and still have happy moments in their lives. 

And here I am, completely fine, my health issues treatable and reversible, and I was wound so tight, I was going to snap.

This year, I had to let it go.

Maria Shriver posted 5 books that she read this year that she loved.  They all were these insightful, thoughtful life changing books.

I really like Maria Shriver.  I know that if we met, we'd be besties  Me, her, Gayle & Oprah would laugh over our chai tea... okay, that sounds very stalkery.  But, you know what I mean--

But honestly, I looked at her post and I posted "You need to lighten up and read something fun."

Because I think I'm done with all the self help for awhile.  I'm done with dieting.  I'm done with making it my best year ever.

2018 is just gonna be.

I have a business plan, of course, but personally.... meh.

My health is a big thing  but not in a goal oriented, hit my marker kinda way.

I'm not going to read 3 books a month.

I'm not committing to exercising 12 hours a week or hitting 15,000 steps.

I'm gonna just wake up, do my thing, and be really appreciative for all the good things.

And I'm not writing it in a gratitude journal either.

Because I need spend less time measuring and assessing and more time simply being.

I'm going to read books that are silly & trashy and make me laugh.

I'm going to order dessert.

I'm going to go on walks with my family because they are awesome.

And some days I'll sleep in and not make the gym.

And I won't care.

I'm just sorta over striving to be perfect.

I'm perfectly fine being imperfect.

So that's my year end thought & my resolution.

2018 and me are just gonna be.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Facts to Clarify for the POTUS

Nazis are responsible for the deaths of millions of people based on their race, sexual orientation & religion. They hate blacks, gypsies, gays, Catholics and especially Jews.  Especially Jews.

We fought the Nazis and sacrificed millions of lives doing so.

White supremacists use Nazi propaganda to promote their agenda as indicated by the swastika symbol.

We do not want to live in a world where Nazis control things because they will kill people.

Nazis are bad.

White supremacists have the same philosophies as Nazis.

Nazis & White Supremacists = bad

People against Nazis & White Supremacists = good

Sunday, August 13, 2017

You Might be at a Nazi Rally if...

A young man from my lovely state of Nevada was recently outed as a white supremacist when his face was plastered all over our liberal media.

Now, this apparently came as a shock to this young man that most of us aren't impressed with his tiki torch wielding and vitriol spewing abilities.

In fact, there may be some consequences to his exercising his freedom of speech. Like the fact that Nevada is a Right to Work state which means he can be terminated for any reason. 

Oopsy daisy.

But the best part, this poor, confused young man responded to friends saying he was unaware he was at a Neo-Nazi really.  He thought it was a party to celebrate white culture.

I guess he just got caught up in the moment.

There he was.  Visiting some friends in Virginia and he just happened to stumble upon a group of people wearing the exact same outfit.

Silly kid.

I can see how that happens.  You go out for a crazy Friday night with some friends, dressed in your father's Dockers Khakis and White Polo to celebrate your whiteness and bam- next thing you know you, you're front and center, holding a tiki torch, the face of a Nazi rally.

I'm sure they don't want his "I didn't mean it" pretty boy face representing them as well.  He is actually denying that he's a racist.  I'm sure that's as offensive to them as his being a racist is to me.

So, to clarify, since I am in fact, 50% hillbilly, I thought I might channel my inner Jeff Foxworthy  and his "You might be a Redneck If..." jokes to help folks like poor Peter determine if they are, in fact, at a Nazi rally.

Here it goes:

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone around you is carrying flags with swastikas.

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone around you is chanting "Death to the Jews" "Death to Blacks" "Death to Gays" or "Death to Mexicans."

You might be at a Nazi rally if the signs noting "Blood & Soil" are not about enhancing the iron in your garden by adding blood meal.

You might be at a Nazi rally if all the sandwiches are served only on white bread.

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone around you is white.

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone is carrying weapons, wearing helmets and have shields with swastikas on them (again, the swastika is an excellent sign that this is, in fact, a Nazi event).

You might be at a Nazi rally if people wearing Birkenstocks, with rainbow flags and peace signs are chanting "Go Home!"

You might be at a Nazi rally if the parade you're marching in is causes people to throw rocks at you.

You might be at a Nazi rally if militarized police have to accompany you on that same parade.

You might be at a Nazi rally if most of the attendees have unlimited time to stay because they don't really have any place to go.

You might be at a Nazi rally if someone yells "Let's all go over to my mom's house after- she's making pizza rolls! We can hang in my room and terrorize snowflakes with my fake twitter account!"

You might be at a Nazi rally if the only bands that will play are really bad cover bands of really bad hair bands from the early 80s because every real artist is offended by your party and doesn't want to be associated with you. 

And I get it.  I appreciate in this day and age, you can stumble upon this situation more regularly than you realize.

If they are chanting "Lock her Up!"  and "Build the Wall" and you are still surround by all white people, bad music and confederate flags without swastikas- don't panic.  That is NOT a Nazi rally- it's a Trump rally.  It will feel and look the same, but it's not a hate crime. 

It's just hate.

So relax.  Wear your MAGA hat.

Please do.

That way we will know, too.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

It's Not Your Politics that Ended Our Friendship

I have friends of all types- young, old, rich, poor, black, white, brown, native, immigrant, gay, straight, bi, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Democrat, Libertarian & Republican.

I like smart, kind, funny people.

Your resume, voting record and bank account don't matter to me.

During the very divided year in American politics, many people that I've known for decades decided to become political.

Normally, that would be a great thing that I encouraged.  I love political debates.

But when people start pretending to be political, have no clue on what they speak and source their information from Alex Jones and Bipartisan Reports, I get irritated.

ESPECIALLY when I show them that they are fake news sites.

ESPECIALLY when I give them information on how to determine if a news source is reputable.

But even that, I can roll my eyes and move on.

What I can't forgive, however, is blatant racism and sexism.

I'm not talking about Trump saying Marcron's wife is in good shape.  An odd and inappropriate greeting from a world leader to another's wife, but sexist- meh.  More like a drunk uncle comment.  He didn't slap her on the ass when he said it.  Baby steps.

Cheering the fact that Trump talked about grabbing pussies... dismissing it as locker room talk... thinking it made him a cool guy... condoning it...

Whether he did it or not is one thing.  I have my opinion.  I wasn't there.  Neither were you.

But cheering it?  Laughing at it?

That's on the people posting & commenting on it.

Because condoning it,  IS disgusting.

You can say "I don't think it happened and he still has my vote."  I'm fine with that. 

You can't say "It's no big deal.  Every guy does that." I'm not fine with that.

They don't.  But YOU thinking it's okay... I'm sorry, I don't want to be your friend.  You're a pig.  I have a daughter.  What would keep you from doing that to her?  I mean, in your mind, there's nothing wrong with it, right?

We found out someone that we sometimes socialized with posted that all Muslims should be lit on fire and burned.

That's a lot different than saying "I support the President's increased scrutiny and delay of visas from countries that have a higher rate of terrorism."  I would reply "What about Saudi Arabia? "  and point out that more people die from domestic violence than terrorism in the US.  I probably won't change your mind and that's okay.  Let's talk about it.

You can say that you think it's wrong for us to take in Syrian refugees. I might respond with facts about refugees or appeal to your humanity.  You can still disagree and we'll still be friends.

But I honestly have no response to lighting human beings on fire.

Because that is messed up.

Really messed up.

You say "Screw people on Medicaid- they can get jobs"- and when I show you data on who those people are- disabled, elderly, etc- and you really, really don't care- not even "Well, there has to be a better way to stop abuses"- you just don't care.

We're not going to be friends.

Maybe back in 1983 when we were in study hall together, I knew you weren't the sharpest knife.  I didn't know you were an asshole.

Now I do.


You commented on Obama for 8 years because you didn't like his policy?

I get it.  I didn't like EVERYTHING.  Let's discuss the good and the bad.  We're friends.

You want to debate how he's really a Kenyan Muslim who hates white people?

I can't.  Because that's your hatred based on nonsense.  I don't have time for that.  And it absolutely carries over into every single thing you say after...

I'm sorry. It does. 

I have friends that voted for Trump.  Some regret it ("Wow.  You were right.  He's clueless. I honestly thought he'd quit tweeting.").  Some don't ("I disagreed with Clinton's platform and his inability to do anything is better than her doing things I disagree with completely.")

We are still friends.  In many cases, very good friends.

Because those are POLITICAL differences.

Their vote did not diminish our friendship- at all.  Honestly, it didn't.  I don't think they are fools or deplorables.  They don't think poorly of me for my vote.  One friend jokingly said she happily tolerated my liberal views because I grow tomatoes and make her laugh.  Oh- and we do talk politics.  Happily.  Passionately.  It's fun.

But your pure hatred of Obama and Clinton and Mexicans and "the gays" and Muslims and blacks...

Those are core differences in our values. 

And if we have different values, we are not going to be friends.

My conservative friends and I agree on most things- everyone should have equal opportunity for health, wealth, safety and religious freedom.  We disagree on the policies to get there.

That's fine.

Thinking that you deserve more than someone else because well, you just do?

News flash:  You don't.

Saying ridiculous things is absolutely your right to free speech.

Me, thinking you're an awful person and not wanting to be your friend any longer- that's my right.

This past year, I thinned the herd of my "friends."

Yes, the election brought it out.

But not ONCE was it ever over politics.

It was over our very different core values.

In short-

It never was your "politics."

It's you.