Day 11 and 20 years

 Today was a planned mulligan because it's our 20th anniversary.  I slept in.  We went to all you can eat sushi.  It was all good.

Oh- and I made some amazing chili yesterday and ate 2 bowls and thought I was going to die from gas pains today.

Just keeping it real.  Because what's sexier than a gassy wife on your anniversary??

But dang... 20 years... that went fast.  I probably still have some thank you's to write....

I would ask where it went but we have a son in his first year of college so clearly the time has been marked well.

Twenty one years ago I never thought I'd be married with 2 kids.  Not in the plans.

It's been a fantastic twist to my story.

Our kids are incredible.  Truly.  I'd hang out with them if they weren't my kids.  I always tell them if I had been given a catalogue and been able to select my kids, I'd have picked them each time.

My husband... that's a different story.  

We are so different yet so the same. Not a great match on paper- as evidenced by when I convinced him to sign up for E-Harmony.  He had 20,000 matches (it maxed out).  I had ZERO.  

I like to say he's the zig to my zag.  We complement each other well even though we don't always compliment each other.

He lets me be me.  It's nice.  I'm a whole lotta lotta.

It hasn't been perfect and we've almost thrown in the towel, but I'm glad we haven't.  

The "kids" at the office asked me about marriage today.  As the boss, they know I'm independent.  I don't need to be married.  Financially, I'm set.  I get shit done. I have a ridiculous amount of undeserved confidence. I think my response surprised them - especially at the sentimentality behind it.

The best part of being married for me is that I am surrounded by this enormous amount of love.  From my husband.  From my kids.  Buckets of it.  It makes me feel safe.

In fact, every night I say a prayer of gratitude for it- "Thank you, God, for my husband, my children, my health, a job I love, my sweet dogs and all the love that surrounds me."  And then I fall asleep in my husband's arms.

And while I appreciate that this warm fuzzy image may not fit my normal, sarcastic, funny self- that moment at night, before I fall asleep is when I am my best self- at peace and surrounded by love.