My Valentine is a completely normal person named Shane. We are married. We have 2 kids, 2 dogs, a mortgage and a nice vegetable garden. We live in a tract house. We drive Toyota's. We go to the movies on date night using free coupons from my Amex rewards points. We are the single most boring people you'll ever meet.
And I love every single minute of it.
I met my husband just over 10 years ago. It was a set up. A woman, Gigi, I knew from volunteering with the school district said she worked with a guy and thought I was the kind of woman who would "appreciate" him.
He was a little shy. He didn't date a lot. He had just moved out from his parents- but he bought a place.
I said no.
I said no for 3 months.
But Gigi, if you know her, is quite persistent.
So the three of us went out.
Yes, you read that right. All three of us. What was supposed to be a group getting together, turned into Gigi, Shane and me. They talked about work. I checked my watch. They talked about people they worked with. I thought, "Please let this night end..."
Then sometime during the night Gigi asked the question that would change the course of my life.
She asked this quiet, shy man a question. A question that I still am in shock she asked...
"Why do men like oral sex so much? Really, what's the big deal?"
I believe I spit my drink.
I was horrified- not that the question was asked, I've certainly been inappropriate before-- but that it was asked to this sweet, kind, gentle soul. I was embarassed for him. There was no way he could answer that.
But then, to my further shock, my husband shot something back that for the life of me I cannot remember. What I do remember is that it was funny, confident and witty. I think the reason I don't remember his response is because I was in shock.
This big old teddy bear had more to him.
As we were leaving, he asked if he could call me. I said sure. Gigi looked surprised. Up until the last half hour I hadn't said much. Shocking, I know. In the car I told her "He was kinda cute. I'd go out with him."
Two days later he called me to "hang out." I told him I had to take my dogs to the park. He offered to bring his dog along. I said sure. I didn't know until a few years later, that he thought I was blowing him off (and not in the aforementioned way...).
We got to the dog park, I tripped getting my 2 dogs out of the car, his dog humped mine,we laughed and we started talking. And talking. And talking. And I took my dogs home. And we went to dinner. And we talked. And I went home and I called him and we talked until 1 in the morning.
I think I knew that I had just begun what looks to be the longest conversation of my life.
Yes, we've had some ups and downs. We even took a break while we dated. It hasn't all been roses, sunshine, rainbows and unicorns as love is depicted in my daughter's books. But I wouldn't change a thing.
On the exterior, we have nothing in common. He was a jock. I was in band. I went to Cornell. He went to UNLV. He went camping with his family every year in Utah. I went to math camp. He's lived in Vegas his whole life. I've lived all over the place. He is tall. I am short. But if you spend more than 10 minutes with us, it all makes sense.
He's the rock that keeps us grounded. I'm the kite that plans for the future. He's the brake that keeps us from going over the cliff. I'm the accelerator that gets us out of the driveway.
I never would have imagined that being "boring" could be so amazing and wonderful. The thought of "til death do you part" sounded like a reasonable excuse for murder to me before. Now I can't imagine not being married to him. I love that every day we get to know each other a little bit better. Surprisingly, the longer we are married, the better it is getting. I smile when our house comes into view on my way home from work. I am a dork, I know, but I already disclosed that I was in band.
Our conversation is still going strong. Some days the volume is a little higher, but it hasn't stopped.
So on this Valentine's Day, I'd like to give a little shout out to my Mr. Bean. It's an overused phrase, of course, but a classic...
I love you.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, and don't forget to pick our son up from Chess Club after school.
ODE TO MR. BEAN
Mr. Bean is my love, my heart and my soul
Although to be a wife was never my goal.
He was the only one to capture my heart
And now I can't imagine being apart.
He has loved me through thick and thin and thick some more
He even laughed when he hit the garage door
We were having a race and rather than lose
I put the garage door down on his truck's roof. (try to make it rhyme, people)
We are silly together and for that I am glad,
He's not just a good husband, he's a mighty fine dad.
He puts up with my banter and my self professed wit
He even can call me out on my bullsh*t.
He's really quite tall and can reach high places
He's also gifted at parking in narrow spaces.
He can fish with the best and he takes me along
Even when I talk nonstop or hum a dumb song.
He is insanely strong and can move anything,
When I need a hand, I just give him a ring.
He plays with kids and sometimes gets a time out
Because sometimes it's he who is the rowdy lout.
It's been more than 10 years since we first met.
Every day gets better, I have no regrets.
When he holds my hand, I still melt
His love is like something that I've never felt.
I never imagined I could feel so much love
and I am so grateful to the big guy above.
So on today, St. Valentine's Day,
I wanted to take a moment to kindly say,
Thank you, my dear, for giving me this life.
I am proud and quite happy being your wife.