Me and My Uterus

I haven't really written anything the past week or so-- I've tried, but I've been at a loss for words.

Seriously.

Me.

This has never happened.

The fact that our government just had a hearing on birth control (please note, it was about WOMEN's BIRTH CONTROL--  not vasectomies) and failed to have ANY WOMEN on the panel and then was discussed by an ALL MALE PANEL on MSNBC (the most liberal of them all...) horrifies me.

I have watched and listened with my jaw dropped as so many personal and intimate topics about my reproductive organs have been discussed over the past few weeks.

By men that I don't know and never want to know.

Not intimately.  Not personally.  Not biblically.  Not socially.

By men that aren't going any where near my lady parts.

But holy crap, they certainly have strong opinions on them.

I told my husband I was going to write a funny blog and say that my uterus wrote it.  I even started it.

Then the panel happened.

This is real folks.

This isn't a joke.

This isn't a laughing matter.

One of the most life changing books I've ever read was "Reading Lolita in Tehran."   It's written by an Iranian professor- female- who thought the Shah was horrific. When the religious sect took over, she actually thought it might be good for her country.  She was Muslim.  Slowly, they started to dictate what she taught.  Then her female students started disappearing.  Then she was told to come into the building up the back stairs- only men could use the front.  Then she was told what to wear- traditional dress.  Then she was fired.

All over a few months.  All in a country that, believe it or not, had a very educated progressive female population.

This scares the living shit out of me.

Requiring transvaginal ultrasounds for having a completely legal procedure? WHAT?  What other medical procedure does a state legislature regulate?  None.  Should you be forced to get a rectal exam to get Viagara (which NEVER has a life or death purpose)? 

I've had one of those ultrasounds.

Not fun.

I think every lawmaker who voted for it should get one or a nice rectal exam with the ultrasound device.

A woman makes a legal, decision and you want to rape her for it?

And who's to say that she didn't pray to the exact same God that these alleged God Loving people do and came to the decision that an abortion was the right thing to do?  What about real faith and trust in God?  The abortion rate is dropping.  It's not an easy decision or an easy fix. Single parenthood has lost the stigma.  That's good news for the pro life movement.  You're winning your battle without having to deprive women of their rights.

But let's take abortion off the table.  That's an old argument that will continue for ages in the US and no one's mind is going to change. 

BUT BIRTH CONTROL IS UNDER ATTACK?

What?

Birth control.

What separates us from most impoverished nations.  The ability to control the population.

The one thing that has allowed women the opportunity to have equal rights.

I don't think truly private organizations should be forced to cover birth control if it's against their doctrine.  If they receive federal and public funding, well, um, you're not private any more.  Sorry.

And to attack Planned Parenthood-- that's WHERE I got my birth control because my health insurance didn't cover it in the 90's.  Not an abortion- pills.  And my pap smear that wasn't covered "unless there was an issue."  In fact, Planned Parenthood in Las Vegas doesn't perform abortions.  Most of their clinics nationwide don't.  Yes, they offer referrals to physicians who do, but they also offer adoption service referrals as well.

What did that congressman say when he said before Congress that abortions were 90% of what they do-- "He wasn't actually quoting factual data..."

No shit, moron.  Planned Parenthood has provided women with options on all those "icky" topics that men don't discuss- except apparently in closed door Congressional panels.  My mother's generation didn't get annual pap smears or mammograms.  They died early from cancer.   My generation gets screened and I have many friends that have survived cancer because of early detection.  My generation gets this because the generation before us fought for it.  Planned Parenthood gave women an education on topics that were taboo to discuss- it allowed us to be part of the work force, to not be dependent on men for income because we were having babies-- it helped give us control.  And apparently my generation has forgotten.

So in the last few weeks I've seen Planned Parenthood and birth control under attack. I expect it on abortion, but women's health?  We have 8.5% unemployment.  Europe is falling apart.  The Middle East is a disaster and BIRTH CONTROL IS THE HOT TOPIC FOR POLITICAL DEBATE???

When did I blink and my country was taken over by a bunch of men who want me back in the kitchen having babies?

When did I suddenly lose my rights to my own body and health?

You know what the number one cause of pregnancy is?

Penises.

Let's ban penises.

Should we require reversible vasectomies of all men following an anal exam until they prove they are father material?

Should we subject the 20-30% of father's who don't pay child support but could, to rectal exams and castration?

Hmmm.... I might be on to something with that last one....

But honestly folks, keeping abortion off the table (because I will politely agree to disagree- I absolutely respect the pro-life crowd), let's not be ridiculous about birth control.  Let's acknowledge that nearly 90% of boys and 80% of girls have already had sex before they graduate high school (and I'm assuming none are married).  Let's not be stupid.  People have sex.

So if Congress really wants to stop unwanted pregnancy, let's really do it.

Let's ban penises.

I suggest we start with all the penises in Washington first.

There certainly seems to be too many dicks floating around Washington for my liking.