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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Home Improvement Show Observations.... My Obsession with HGTV

I am not like most women.  I don't enjoy shopping in the least.  Shoes do nothing for me and I will never understand purses. I'm not into jewelry.  And while I adore MY children, I have no desire to hold anyone else's.  I've never seen an episode of any Housewives show.  Ever.

With that said, I love HGTV.  I always have.

They did get rid of my favorite show of all time "Weekend Warriors."  This was one of their early shows.  It consisted of a couple usually, getting together with their friends to take on a home improvement project which they always inaccurately estimated would take a weekend.

It was fantastic.  Couples fought.  Words were bleeped.  Friends that said they would show up, blew people off.  Nothing ever fit or worked like the plan.  The "weekend" projects would last months.  Eventually one spouse would give up and call a professional.

It was true reality TV.

Part of my recent obsession is because were are trying to update our house to possibly sell it next year.  Or to stay in it.  We are "Love It or List It."  Which I love.  It makes me think outside the box.  Then I see how much the renovations-- or Reno- cost and think "Well crap... no wonder..." 

I also like Canadians and I'm pretty sure EVERY show is in Canada.  The word aboot makes me smile.

Anyhow, so "Love It or List It" has a designer gut a house, try to put in everything the homeowners want (never happens as planned) and an obnoxious realtor tries to convince the homeowners to sell it because they can get exactly what they want somewhere else.  Now, once these houses are remodeled they usually love amazing.  As someone who spent most of my 20s moving, unless the new house came with movers, it would take a LOT for me to move.   Which is our real life debate.  So rather than have our own arguments, we get to watch other people do it.  It's much easier that way.

"House Hunters" is another favorite because I use it to mock people. 

First of all, no one NEEDS granite countertops.  They look nice.  They are not the best if you actually cook-- and let's face it, most people don't.  I have Corian.  I love it.  It doesn't crack.  I can put a hot pot on it.  It doesn't scratch.  I cook.  

Second, a lot of these marriages are on thin ice.  Which is like watching a train wreck.  The bickering, pent up anger- AWESOME.  There is nothing better than seeing other people fight it out.  It makes us feel better about ourselves.  I think they need a follow up show "Did They Stay Married?"  Especially when they buy the house the one spouse KNOWS they can't afford... they are SO going to be fighting about it for every mortgage payment....

Third, people's lack of understanding of paint amazes me.  "Oooh... i hate this color."  Well, fortunately, Einstein, there is this magic cover that you can put over it.  You need a magic brush and then the secret sauce.  Idiots.

Fourth, the "entertainers" who you know never have had a dinner party in their life want to make sure they have enough room.  For what?  You are dorks that are lucky to have found each other (say  the two dorks on the couch watching...).  You can have pizza and beer on the couch, no need for the formal dining room.  We entertain quite a bit and I would never buy a house for the 4-5 parties we throw a year.  We did find this great model though.....

"International House Hunters" is just my cheap way to take a TVcation and tour the world.  It also reminds me that I am an American Pig in my McMansion that has no unique characteristics.  But I have a tub that I can stand in, so call me a pig and cover me in BBQ sauce.

We also bet on which house they will get.  My husband bases his decision on which is most practical.  I base it on whomever is the most obnoxious-- they always win.  My son is even getting into it. 

All the home improvement shows are a kick.  I just watched a women get very excited about faucets  Made me laugh.  You would have thought she was in an adult store if you couldn't see the screen and heard her descriptions-- the excitement seemed a little over the top.

But in the end, my true obsession is based on the fact that we are facing a big decision and quite honestly, I don't want to make it.  Watching other people fumble through it makes me feel better about myself and hopefully, I'm learning from their mistakes.

It's also been 118 degrees and a nice way to pass time.

And it HAS to be better than watching a bunch of botoxed, angry, trophy wives get waxed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy to know that there is another person out there that watches a ton of home shows, and spends most of their time commenting on the people and not the homes. I do however love the BRAVO network, in which case I enjoy watching botoxed broads argue about problems that they have invented for TV. You might enjoy "Million Dollar Listing".