Thank you for dropping by!

I truly appreciate that you've decided to share part of your day in my world. I hope your time has been well spent and I've made you smile, laugh or think.





Sunday, April 28, 2013

My Day at the Laundromat

Our washing machine blew up.



I know.  Freaky, huh?

The first part of this story is that I was on a mountain in California chaperoning my son's class trip to Astrocamp (which is awesome, by the way).  I miraculously had one tiny bar, saw that I had a message from home and listened, thinking it would be my husband saying how much he missed me.

Instead it was something like:

(frantic tone)
"Hey it's me.  Do you know where the warranty is for the washing machine?  It blew up.  It's a mess.  There's a hole in the wall.  RC Willey's warranty department isn't open again until Monday.  Please call me if you know where it is.  There's water all over the place. "

Now, if you HADN'T seen the picture, your response would have been:

(sarcastic tone)
"What the hell?  I'm gone for less than 24 hours and the house is falling apart.  No, I have no freaking clue where the warranty is because I'm ON A MOUNTAIN.   Blew up... sure."

Because I was thinking it was overloaded and pulled away from the wall and waah freaking waah.

Oops.

The washing machine blew up.

And just in case YOU have a top loader LG washer without an agitator, yours may, too!  Lucky you.


ANYHOW, since I have been running around like a crazy woman this past month, I did not get my laundry done prior to leaving.  I figured I would throw it in when I got back from my business trip this week (I got home Sunday night from Astrocamp and got on a plane early Monday morning).

Clearly, this did not happen.  Since we have property damage-- a large hole in the wall and the dryer was damage during the explosion-- we are dealing with LG directly and their very overwhelmed product liability division.

In other words, no washing machine.

Or, in layman's terms, no underwear.

I seriously was out of clothes.

I should also point out that I've put some weight back on, so I should clarify- I had no comfortable clothing.  So I had to go to the laundromat

The last time I went to a laundromat was in 1993.  I actually enjoyed it when I lived in New Jersey. They had these great places called Suds-n-Duds.  They were laundromats connected to bars.
Brilliant, I know.

So I didn't have bad memories of them, but in Las Vegas, most apartments have washer-dryers.  Most laundromats are not in the best part of town.  We live near a not so spectacular area, so fortunately, there is one within 2 miles of my house.

I loaded up the car- and I mean loaded up the car. 

Did I mention that my daughter threw up Thursday night so I also had a comforter and sheets with puke on them?

So it was a full load.  About 9 loads all together.  A full weekend of laundry.

But alas, the laundromat is magical.  My son and I went and were able to combine some loads utilizing the HUGE machines. 

This was, of course, after I realized I had put the first load in a dryer and not a washer.  Oops.  They all look alike.  Fortunately, the owner came over and helped me out.

And a few other people.  The young man who gave me the tips of breaking up my loads in the dryer  to save time and money.  The other young man who held the door for me when I was taking all my laundry out to the car.  The girl with the hot pink hair and I discussed the pros and cons of overfilling the machines.

It was not the usual crowd with whom I hang.

And just when I was feeling a little mightier, I realized that I was in fact in a pair of shorts with no button on them, so I was in perpetual fear they would fall off and a shirt that was too big and my bra straps were hanging out.

In other words, I fit in just fine at the laundromat.

Laundry- the great social equalizer.

In fact, when I asked about the laundry service they offered, I could tell she wanted to say "Sweetie, you can't afford that-- you don't have buttons on your pants..."

My son thought it was a great place.  We loaded the machines, emptied them, folded-- he was the perfect assistant.  He added "Wow- now I know why you guys hate doing laundry" but we really had fun.  We chatted.  We folded.  He thinks like me, so he appreciated my anal retentive attempts to try and time the washers and dryers perfectly ("It should take us 4 minutes to unload the washer and get it to a dryer, so wait a few minutes before you start it..."-- other people would think this was nuts, he thought it was completely logical!).

But here's the best thing-- we were COMPLETELY DONE WITH ALL THE LAUNDRY IN 2-- TWO- HOURS!  It was not an entire weekend thing.  Washed, dried, folded, and nearly put away-- nearly because hell would freeze over if I ever got all my laundry put away.

What a fantastic thing!

I even had my husband considering doing this on a regular basis.  Well, not really, but I would do this again the next time I get behind on the laundry.

The folding tables are HUGE. There is plenty of room.

And it is done.  Done. Done. DONE.  I have procrastinated doing laundry longer than it took to finish it all today.

There wasn't even time to read, like I had hoped.

I used to think that "making it" meant I had a nice washing machine.  Okay, that wasn't the only criteria, but it never occurred to me that the nicest and most expensive appliance that I ever owned would actually explode.

Maybe going back to the good old days was a good thing?  Maybe the fact that my bigger, fancier life is actually making me more stressed out says something.

The conference I was at was to makeover my business- fine tune and change some things I've been doing all the years to make them "better."  I find it ironic that through all the chaos I've had this past month, the one thing that you would think would have been an "Oh crap, I have to go to the 'hood and do laundry" could have been the final straw and I would have snapped was the biggest stress reliever of all.  It reminded that sometimes the good old days really were good.  The less I had, the happier I was (for the most part). 

Except for underwear.  You truly can never have enough.

And a big thanks to the great people at The Laundry Lounge.  If you ever are in a bind or just want to knock it all out-- it's a great facility. 


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Dear Crazy People

Dear Crazy People,

I would like to ask you to all leave.  Glenn "King Daddy Nut" Beck has even said he is going to start his own community.  Great.  He can be the leader.  Please.  Go.

The rest of us are voting you off the island, so to speak.

I am tired of you ruining my country.  You are morons.

Go.  Now.  Immediately.

Now I know you are thinking I must be some tree-hugging, gay loving, pot smoking hippie.

Sure.  Whatever.

To be honest, I like clean air and water.  I don't think companies should be able to pollute and dump crap into either.  I don't give a crap who marries who and I'm sorry, I have gay friends and it has absolutely no bearing on my marriage whatsoever.  I don't smoke pot because I don't need anything to make me eat, but hey, if I was dying of cancer, I'd rather smoke a little weed than take half the crap the pharmaceutical companies make. 

So there.  Call me a crazy liberal. You can keep on believing that you are more than an overhead expense to whatever company you work for-- because I'm sure they will never lay you off ever.

Hah.

And you think the potheads are stoned....

Supporting the military, by the way, doesn't mean fighting wars.  It means giving them health care, follow up care, jobs after they are done serving their time.  It's not flying a flag or wearing a USA #1 t-shirt that you bought at Wal-Mart that was probably made in China.

So please, go.

You hate the government?

When your house in your new Becktopia land- the one without running water or electricity- catches fire, good luck putting it out.

Your neighbor gets pissed at you and pulls out his gun?  Hope you're loaded and ready to go-- those police officers that protect you?  Yep, they get paid with tax dollars.

And have fun homeschooling your kids.  You want to teach them that global warming isn't happening?  Go for it.  The rest of the world will laugh as we prepare for the changing climate -you can argue that it's just a few scientists-- 98% of them-- with all that fancy talk.  Those pictures of the ice caps getting smaller-- I'm sure they were photoshopped.  Right.  Idiots.

And don't bother teaching your kid about sex. Because everyone knows if you don't talk about it, it won't happen.

Right.

And speaking of sex-- stay out of my vagina.  You're worried about the government taking a gun that you don't even own?  Really?  I'm worried that the entire United States Congress is trying to get up in my hoo haw.  So far, they haven't touched my gun but my girl parts are a big topic of conversation.

So again, please leave.

Go live in your own independent world where you don't need anyone or anything. 

Let's see how long you last.

I give it 3 days-- 1 day longer than the people on the Carnival cruise ship made it before they went "Lord of the Flies."  By the way, that's a book, not a biblical reference.  They eat the fat kid in it, since I doubt you'll bother reading it.

Have fun in your special place of fear, anger and hatred.

You want to blow up a bunch of innocent people?  Screw you.

The rest of us would like to live in peace.  We would like to have different opinions and work them out.  We will continue to rely on each other to make the world a better place for EVERYONE-- even those people who maybe aren't as lucky as some of the rest of us.

You can count your bullets, hoard your supplies and do what you want.  My guess, in a month you'll be the first people with your hands out, calling out for help because you take the amazing infrastructure in our country completely for granted.

The first storm that hits, you'll be crying for help.

And the rest of us will sit back and laugh and laugh and laugh.

So please, go ahead and leave.

I double dog dare you.

And if you won't go, then shut up.


Sincerely,

The Rest of the Human Population

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Funny stuff my family has said lately...

I have been trying to work with my daughter on her personal hygiene- combing her hair, keeping her nails clean, etc.  After she was in tears from my brushing her hair, I suggested that she clean her nails and put on deodorant because "You don't want to be known as the stinky, dirty girl, right?"  This caused her to burst into tears and run upstairs.

My son, who patiently watched the tantrum, looked at me and said "Nice job, Mom.  Way to make your point."

OUCH.
*********************
Monday night as my daughter was reading to me in her bed, I fell asleep.  I woke up the next day.  She smiled and said "Don't tell anyone you slept in here, Mom.  It's a school night.  I don't want to get in trouble."
*********************
With regard to the Easter candy, my son said, "I'm taking inventory.  I know what happened to my Halloween candy, MOM."

Oops.  Caught.
*********************
We had a LONG road trip last week.  On the way home, I realized my husband and I had a miscommunication with regard to our dogsitting.  I was pissed so I didn't talk to him for an hour.  We were talking about it tonight and I asked if he had even noticed.  He said he wondered what he had done to deserve it--- he didn't remember doing anything so great to get me to shut up.

Nice.
*********************
More to come as I think of them.... it's been a busy week!



Thursday, April 4, 2013

Sex Education is Not a How To Class

My lovely state has been in a bit of a crisis the past few years.  I live in Nevada.  I love Nevada.  I moved here 20 years ago and absolutely love the climate, the diversity, the landscape.  Love, love, love it.

With that said, when things were good, it certainly was fantastic.  Schools were built.  Money fell from the sky.  People held hands and sang Kum Ba Ya.

Awesome.

Okay, I may be exaggerating.

But now that things are tough- we're still recovering from the economic crisis- people seem to be finding everything to fight about it.  Even the common sense stuff.

My state allows prostitution.

When you think of Las Vegas (and prostitution is NOT legal in Clark County, by the way), I don't think puritanical images come to mind.

So brothels, scantily clad dancers and servers... but wait-- no updates to our sex ed curriculum since the 1980s?

Nope

So the legislature was trying to pass a bill to require age appropriate sexual education be taught and updated on a regular basis.

Now my first thought was "what really needs to be updated... he puts his willy..." 

But honestly a lot of things have changed.  The internet. Sexting.  Date rape drug use.  Posting pictures of having sex with a drunk girl who is passed out.

Maybe a refresher to the course is needed.

Wow.  What a shitstorm that caused.

And here's the thing-- most people (not all) weren't arguing that the state shouldn't mandate sex ed, it should be done by local school boards-- that was the real debate-- the NOISE and I mean NOISE was about if sexual education should be taught at all.

Because kids don't have sex.

We have the 4th highest rate of teen pregnancy in the nation. 

See the disconnect?

But apparently, if we teach them about it, they will only have more.

What a load of crap.

Okay, here's the deal people-- folks have sex.  Every single one of us is here because someone had sex.

Period.

(Oh- and that's something girls get and need to know about.  According to the film strip I watched -yes, I'm dating myself- there should also be butterflies and a glow of womanhood.  I got cramps and zits.  But more than one girl has started her period with no information.  Not even the film strip.  Talk about terrifying.)

Some people, based on our existence, get pregnant when they have sex.  If you don't want to have children, it might be good to know about how to prevent that.

Some people get diseases when they have sex.  It also might be good to know how to prevent that. Makes you itch just thinking about it, doesn't it?

And Sex Ed is NOT A HOW TO CLASS.  It's a HOW THINGS WORK.  Because you need to know.  I have adult female friends who only learn about ovulation when they can't pregnant.

Seriously.

And these aren't stupid women.

I did not enjoy having our football coach try to explain sex in a 2 week class.  Based on how red his face was-- well technically his whole head because he was bald- he did not enjoy it either.  But I got the basics.  His uncomfortable descriptions of vaginas and penises in my freshman health class did not inspire me to go get it on. Honestly, it freaked me out.

And, while this will probably piss off my liberal friends, the BEST thing I saw on sexual behavior was an abstinence presentation.  No joke.  We had a fantastic speaker who came in and gave a 90 minute or so presentation on the benefits of waiting.  It wasn't a preachy religious "your penis will fall off if you touch it" thing.  It was a very good movie, interactive presentation on how, as a kid, you have enough to worry about.  Having sex at an early age can put you in a lot of bad situations that you're not ready for- having a child, choosing not to have a child, getting a disease- and the thing that really stuck-- having the person that you had sex with spread it all over the school and then deal with being labeled as slutty.  Because as a teenager I had seen that happen to more than one girl (and be honest, it didn't hurt guys).  That seemed scarier and more likely than getting knocked up.  Because you can tell me that having sex is natural, etc., but what if the person you chose to have sex with turns out to be a big mouth jerk?  Imagine the break up, they said.  What then?   

You're a kid.  Why add complexity to your life right now?

I still remember it.  It was about respecting yourself and making good decisions.  It wasn't just about abstinence, but the main idea was "if you wait to have sex, it takes a lot off your plate."

It should be part of a comprehensive sexual education program.

As should how things work.

And different types of birth control.  How they don't always work.  How they really don't work if you don't use them properly.

Because at some point, someone is probably going to have sex.

The morality of it-- that's a whole different discussion.  That's a values thing.

But the mechanics- it needs to be taught.  And parents are not necessarily the best teachers on that part....

Because what really made my eyes bug out was the debate against teaching people about sex.  The sad misinformation after more than one "concerned citizen" took the floor was a testament as to WHY we need.  Abortions cause breast cancer.  HIV is God's way of eliminating homosexuals.  Sex education makes kids have sex.  You shouldn't teach about birth control because the only thing 100% effective is abstinence, so why teach it at all.

What?

The supporters just want to update the curriculum to talk about new forms of birth control since the 80's, that having sex on the internet is bad, and the VD is not a good thing to get.

They do not want to take your children and place them in brothels as learning centers.

Since when did keeping people ignorant work for a society?

So I don't get it.  At all.

It's information.  It's biology.

Absolutely parents should discuss the issue with their children.  My sex talk came while I was watching "Love Boat' with my dad. One man was bedhopping.  My dad said "I hope you know that's not what you're supposed to do.  That's wrong."

That was it.

Thank goodness for the football coach.  And Judy Blume.  Because honestly, "Forever" played a pretty big role in my education....

But seriously, someone needs to talk to kids about it.  It's just sex.  It's gonna happen. 

I want my kids to know the details.  They are not going to listen to me about it or ask me about it when it's time.  They aren't.  I would like to think they will, but they won't.  They will get the abstinence speech from me as the best plan for high school.  Absolutely.  Because I think it's a good plan.  But if they choose not to or find themselves in a position where that's just not going to happen, well, here's the basic info. 

Then I will throw up.

But you would have had to hear the comments that these ignorant fools made.  It would have been funny if they hadn't really believed them.  The more they spoke, the more apparent it became that we need to teach people the basics.  My friends' tweets and posts while they were at the public hearing were sadly funny.  There is a lot of bad information out there from people who talk more than they think.

Don't leave it to movies and friends and the internet for kids to learn about sex.  Let's update what we have.  Let's make them think before they do it.  Let's equip them with information so they can make good, healthy decisions.

Let's try to at least acknowledge the facts and base our decisions on them.


Let's try to do something.

It certainly would be refreshing.