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Sunday, August 13, 2017

You Might be at a Nazi Rally if...

A young man from my lovely state of Nevada was recently outed as a white supremacist when his face was plastered all over our liberal media.

Now, this apparently came as a shock to this young man that most of us aren't impressed with his tiki torch wielding and vitriol spewing abilities.

In fact, there may be some consequences to his exercising his freedom of speech. Like the fact that Nevada is a Right to Work state which means he can be terminated for any reason. 

Oopsy daisy.

But the best part, this poor, confused young man responded to friends saying he was unaware he was at a Neo-Nazi really.  He thought it was a party to celebrate white culture.

I guess he just got caught up in the moment.

There he was.  Visiting some friends in Virginia and he just happened to stumble upon a group of people wearing the exact same outfit.

Silly kid.

I can see how that happens.  You go out for a crazy Friday night with some friends, dressed in your father's Dockers Khakis and White Polo to celebrate your whiteness and bam- next thing you know you, you're front and center, holding a tiki torch, the face of a Nazi rally.

I'm sure they don't want his "I didn't mean it" pretty boy face representing them as well.  He is actually denying that he's a racist.  I'm sure that's as offensive to them as his being a racist is to me.

So, to clarify, since I am in fact, 50% hillbilly, I thought I might channel my inner Jeff Foxworthy  and his "You might be a Redneck If..." jokes to help folks like poor Peter determine if they are, in fact, at a Nazi rally.

Here it goes:

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone around you is carrying flags with swastikas.

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone around you is chanting "Death to the Jews" "Death to Blacks" "Death to Gays" or "Death to Mexicans."

You might be at a Nazi rally if the signs noting "Blood & Soil" are not about enhancing the iron in your garden by adding blood meal.

You might be at a Nazi rally if all the sandwiches are served only on white bread.

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone around you is white.

You might be at a Nazi rally if everyone is carrying weapons, wearing helmets and have shields with swastikas on them (again, the swastika is an excellent sign that this is, in fact, a Nazi event).

You might be at a Nazi rally if people wearing Birkenstocks, with rainbow flags and peace signs are chanting "Go Home!"

You might be at a Nazi rally if the parade you're marching in is causes people to throw rocks at you.

You might be at a Nazi rally if militarized police have to accompany you on that same parade.

You might be at a Nazi rally if most of the attendees have unlimited time to stay because they don't really have any place to go.

You might be at a Nazi rally if someone yells "Let's all go over to my mom's house after- she's making pizza rolls! We can hang in my room and terrorize snowflakes with my fake twitter account!"

You might be at a Nazi rally if the only bands that will play are really bad cover bands of really bad hair bands from the early 80s because every real artist is offended by your party and doesn't want to be associated with you. 

And I get it.  I appreciate in this day and age, you can stumble upon this situation more regularly than you realize.

If they are chanting "Lock her Up!"  and "Build the Wall" and you are still surround by all white people, bad music and confederate flags without swastikas- don't panic.  That is NOT a Nazi rally- it's a Trump rally.  It will feel and look the same, but it's not a hate crime. 

It's just hate.

So relax.  Wear your MAGA hat.

Please do.

That way we will know, too.

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