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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

My Barista in Flannel

My husband as a new obsession.


And it is hilarious.

I would say I take full responsibility, but I don't.  His switch from beer to wine, is completely my fault.  This, however, I did not see coming.

I am not a huge coffee drinker.  In fact, I came to coffee later in the game.  I was a die hard tea drinker and gradually converted over to coffee.  I am a one cup a day girl.

In fact, we got a very cool brew and grind coffee maker for our wedding 10 years ago.  Up until about a year ago, it was at my office.  We had it at the house, but used it so rarely, I just took it to the office. 

Then my husband discovered the caramel macchiato at The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. I am a vanilla latte or tea latte girl.  I started going to either The Coffee Bean or Starbucks on my pay day.  I figured, during the poor years, if one day I could afford to spend $4 on a cup of coffee without being stressed, I would have "made" it.

I had no idea that my casual treat would become an addiction for my husband.

He discovered the Skinny Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks.  There was a drive thru on the way to work.  And here the addiction began.

Then, we got a Breville for the office and the coffee maker came home.  I assumed it would go into the pantry and pulled out for special events.  After all, my husband HATES appliances on the counter.  The toaster, the mixer- everything used to be carefully stored.

But no.... our coffee maker suddenly made it's way on to the counter.

It should have been a sign of what was to come....

I had a french press for the times when I wanted coffee at home.  But I thought, okay, what the heck.

We used it so much that it broke (if you're a regular reader, the fact that my husband killed a kitchen appliance is not a shock).  To his credit, it was 10 years old- pretty good track record.  We couldn't find a grind and brew replacement.  Then we were out at Fry's, saw an cappuccino/espresso/coffee pot combo and brought it home.

And he put it on the counter.

And of course we had to get a coffee grinder because he really liked the freshly ground coffee.  No joke.

And he put that on the counter, too.

The good news, I used these appliances as leverage to get my toaster oven....

The bad news, I'm not particularly a fan of appliances on the counter either.

My husband became a full fledged barista.  We now have 6 bottles of Torani syrup in the cupboard-- not one, not two, SIX. 

My husband cared for this machine as if it were a Porsche.

Then it died.

And he was sad.

I bought an Aeroccino per my friend Candi's recommendation.  It quietly and quickly makes frothed milk for lattes and cappuccino.  He didn't understand how we could still make coffee.

I introduced him to the French Press that I had been using for the past few years, apparently unnoticed.

Ahhh... a new way to imbibe.

But alas, he was still not satisfied.  It wasn't strong enough.  The man who used to say coffee tastes like dirt.  And trust me, if you'd have my french pressed coffee, it is very strong.

For the past few weeks, he's been surfing the net, hanging out in appliance sections- it's been hilarious.  He is not a metrosexual.  He is a giant man who likes to shoot firearms.  Looking for the perfect cappuccino maker- never saw it coming.  The man wears flannel.

I finally suggested that rather than take out a second mortgage on our house to get a full fledged coffee system (and taking up our counter space which was now driving ME nuts), he buy the stove top version.

Again, he was mesmerized.

I said "You know, make coffee on the stove- that's how my grandma did it."

So now he discovered the Moka- a stove top espresso maker.  The old fashioned kind. He is in heaven.  He was concerned that it didn't make enough. I explained that it was espresso- you serve it in tiny cups, not giant tumblers.  And even better-- it doesn't sit on the counter!

Sadly, we tested it out last night. At 7 pm.

So at midnight, we were lying in bed, WIDE AWAKE.

I told him that I was concerned, I thought he may have a problem.  If you've seen the Will Ferrell scenes in "Kicking and Screaming," he's about 2 steps from this.  I apologized for introducing him to coffee.  I had no idea.  I had been a casual drinker for years.  I can handle it.  I didn't realize he couldn't. 

The good news, he makes a mean hazelnut latte.  Delish.

The bad news, when he talks about frothy and full-bodied, he's not talking about me any more!


Helen said...

Time for decaf espresso for nighttime maybe?

Mama Bean said...

There are some perks to being up at midnight, though..... ;)