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Monday, June 3, 2013

Eternally 12

I am, apparently, eternally 12.

I can't help it.

My friend's son, when he was about 12 told me that I didn't seem like other adults.  I just seemed like a big kid.  And he added "No offense."

None taken.  Thanks!

It's not to say that I'm immature-- well.... maybe.

But honestly, farts, burps, dirty words-- they STILL make me giggle.

I think part of it is that I was a fairly serious kid.  I was a very mature kid.  For a kid.  I just never continued with the maturity apparently.

I am responsible.  I pay my bills.  I do many grown up things.  But at the end of the day, there is still a whole lot of immature running throw my veins.

Take tonight for example.

My daughter mentioned something about cocktails and how they were named after the tail of a cock.

She is 7.

My son, who is 10 said: "How do you know what a cock is?"

Then they proceeded to have an entire conversation on what a cock is.

As in a male chicken.

A very real, polite, discussion on it.

As my husband, who is also 12, and I sat across from each other trying to keep a straight face every time they uttered the word cock.

He is clearly my soulmate.

Last Thursday I had a computer training class with my staff.  It was on office procedures and our corporate calendaring system.

They talked about writing a to-do for follow-up letters.

Which they abbreviated f/u letter.

FU.

C'mon.

I'm the boss, I know, but I couldn't hold back.

This opened up a pandora's box of jokes from me "Well, I can think of a few clients who might need an f/u letter, but in general, I think that's a bad idea for business..."

And I couldn't stop.

Because I'm 12.

I use phrases like "That's cool" or "That sucks" to quantify my like or disgust with something.  I have a very eloquent, diverse vocabulary.  Just don't ask me to use it.

I use phrases like "bat in the cave" to let my family know they have boogers hanging out of their noses.  And I wait for a few minutes and sometimes snap photos before saying it.  I also think the word booger is hysterically funny.

I like to play online games, although I really suck at Wii and XBox.

I roll my eyes far too often.

I laughed as hard as my son at "Captain Underpants" because the word underpants itself is funny- let alone a grown man pretending to be Captain Underpants.  Great literature.

On the outside, I may look adultlike.  Tax payer.  Business owner.  Mother of 2.  Loving wife.

But on the inside, not in the least.  In fact, I am mesmerized that I function as well as I do and that my children have survived as well as they have. 

So if you see me and I am biting my lip- it's not a nervous habit.  It's probably because I either just farted or you have a bat in the cave.

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