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Friday, May 13, 2011

How to Not Get or Keep a Job- largely deleted due to Blogspot error. i promise it was really funny.

I am very nice.

I promise.

This past fall I decided to change my staff at my business.  I had a wonderful part-time, semi-retired assistant.  As technology became a larger portion of the workload and it became clear that I needed more help, she came to me and said it was time for her to retire.  She worked with me for 5 years. 
I also had a fabulous assistant who followed me to three different employers. 

I'm a good boss.

Honest.

HOWEVER....

I have standards.

Like showing up.

On time.

Every day.

I know, I'm a slave driver.

This is a problem for 30% of the population, I've found.

3 comments:

Vicki said...

THAT is both sad & hilarious! Oh how I wish I was 15 years younger & still in the workforce - I would work for you in a heartbeat!

Helen said...

Well, I don't do any of the aforementioned things... you would probably consider me an overachiever.

However, I have sent out well over 100 resumes in 2 years and have had exactly 1 interview. Most of the time I don't even get the courtesy of an email or call to say my package has been received or that the job has been filled, never mind a call to interview. So what am 'I' doing wrong other than being 51 with 30 years experience in my field so employers know they need to pay me a decent wage to get my expertise?

Mama Bean said...

Helen- Honestly, I think it's probably the salary. If you have it on your resume, take it off. I know for the job I'm hiring, there's a limit to how much I can pay. We have a wide range- for the right person we'll definitely pay more, but the job has a specific value to our business- without regard to the person's qualifications. A heart surgeon doing receptionist work is going to make the same as a teeny bopper out of high school. The fact that they are grossly overqualified has no bearing on what I can afford to pay or the job duties. My assistant that just retired nearly doubled her pay in 5 years because she proved to be invaluable. I've also gotten screwed overpaying people for their previous experience only to find that they weren't bringing it with them!

Also, if you don't need benefits, put that on there... that's a lovely bonus to an employer. And mention something about your technology love, your running-- anything that makes you look youthful. And that you want to work long term. And you love being invaluable to a small business (you most definitely were). My guess is your resume doesn't remotely reflect you- honestly people who put hobbies on their resumes (appropriately- not as part of the background paper!) catch my attention more. Anything that requires skill or determination make them pop out. Running also offsets the age factor. You're a 50 is the new 40 50 year old, not the 50 and I'm clocking time until Retirement 50 year old.

I would interview you- in fact, I am interviewing three people with very similar profiles to you- long term experience with a small business.

Personally, if either you or Vicki were here in Vegas, I'd be tap dancing with joy!

Don't give up-- email me your resume and I'll see if I can send it out via some colleagues in your area. I know an advisor who works specifically with small business owners in your area. I think you are fabulous!