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Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Crazy People at Wal-Green's

A few days ago I awakened to an ear infection.  I thought I had one coming on-- I don't get them too frequently, but as a child, it was a regular, painful occurrence.  I had a 3 day business trip coming up and rather than let it heal over, I thought I might want to have someone look at it.

I called my primary care doctor's office and they were completely booked for the day.  Since I was leaving the next day, I decided to go to the Wal-Green's Take Care Clinic.

Even though they don't take our insurance, it's always been worth it for simple colds, flu shots, etc.  We usually are in and out fairly quickly.  It's a first-come, first-served basis.  I would never go if it was something serious, but when it's one of those basic "I have this, please verify" illnesses, I trust a physician's assistant.

They open at 8, so at 8:05, I walked in, walked up to the computer and started to sign in.  There were 3 people and 2 kids sitting in the waiting area.  I had a 9:45 am meeting, so depending on their diseases (no one looked too sick), I was hopeful I could get in and out quickly.

Then this woman started SCREAMING at me.

"IT'S FIRST COME FIRST SERVED!!  I WAS HERE FIRST!!"

By this time I was 2/3 of the way through filling in the information.

"I'm sorry?" I said.

"YOU CAN'T SIGN IN!!  I WAS HERE FIRST!"

"Why didn't you sign in?"

"THE NURSE ISN'T HERE YET!  THE COMPUTER DIDN'T WORK."

I would also like to note that she was wearing sunglasses indoors and appeared to have some sort of swim cover up on as a dress.

"It's working fine."   This seemed to confuse her.

"WELL IT'S MY TURN."  She clearly wanted me to stop. My ear hurt.  Her yelling wasn't helping.  I had already filled out all the details and I didn't want to start over.  Oh and the big thing- THERE WERE TWO COMPUTERS.

So I pointed out the other computer to her below the giant SIGN IN sign and said "Have at it."

To her credit, because they weren't officially "opened" yet, there was a screen that popped up that said "We are not yet open."  It had a full page explaining that I could continue to put in my information and I would be called in the order it was received.  There was a magic button on the bottom right that said "Next."  Once I clicked the magic button, I could go ahead and register, just like the note said.

Well, silly, educated me.  How dare I read the fine print.

Even sadder, the other people had had the same issue.  I think.  I think what probably happened was they didn't even try because they trusted Crazy Bitch With the Sunglasses who found it impossible to crack the code.

When the PA came out and called my name first, she went completely and totally nuts. "I WAS HERE FIRST.  I SHOULD GO FIRST."

I politely said "Take her, she was obviously here first." The PA shrugged, and told her to come back

I then politely asked the woman who was next if it was okay if I went because I had to go to a meeting.

She very nastily said "I don't think so."

I asked her if she had even tried to log in.  She said she couldn't.  There was a screen that said they were closed.  I told her there was a button on the bottom that said next.  Well, stupid me, not on HER screen.  At this point I rolled my eyes.

So here's where my judgmental ire was raised...

Neither of these woman were dressed like they had anywhere important to be.  They both were being horribly nasty in front of their kids or grandkids.  I can never tell.  I was being pleasant.  There was no need to be nasty.

So I'm sitting there, watching the clock pass by.

I noticed the Over the Counter home DNA testing kit for only $29.99.  Really?  The world has come to the point where that's an OTC need? Then I thought about Crazy Bitch With the Sunglasses and it made a little more sense.

I thought it was funny that the laxatives were next to the iron supplements (if you've ever taken iron supplements, you understand....they do go hand in hand).

And I watched the clock tick.  The third person that was waiting was a cop.  When the PA again called my name, I said "You know what, he was here, too."  The cop was very nice said it was fine.  I told him to go, I had to leave as it was, and besides, he was the only one who hadn't gone apeshit on me.  He laughed, thanked me, and I left.

I went back after work because my ear was getting worse, not better.  I waited about 20 minutes.

During that time, I talked to the obvious meth head who was shaking and told me how great her Medicaid was.  Lovely.

I answered questions for another girl about the price list "The info is there, in the brochure called 'Price List.'"

Basically I spent my entire time serving as an Interpreter for Morons.

I looked at the DNA test.  That explained so much.

There was another very nice woman waiting with her granddaughter.  We just kept rolling our eyes at the bizarre questions people kept asking me, as well as why they kept asking me. 

I finally got back to see the PA.  I had an ear infection.  I had gotten water in my ear.  He explained to me how to take a shower.  I almost stopped him and said "I'm 41.  I've taken a shower before." Then I remembered the people in the lobby.   I just smiled as he explained that it wasn't a good idea to let the water get into my ear. 

Thank you.  I'll write that down.  I'll just take the drops, please.  It's been a long day.

Oh, and at the end, he gave me a discount for being nice.  He thought that Crazy Bitch With the Sunglasses was nuts, too.

3 comments:

Mama Bean said...

I would also like to add that I would have let Crazy Bitch go without her even asking, I could have done without the screaming.

Vicki said...

You seriously need an agent - I love forwarding your stuff!! :)

Mama Bean said...

Thank you so much! I am having far too much fun writing these!