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I truly appreciate that you've decided to share part of your day in my world. I hope your time has been well spent and I've made you smile, laugh or think.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Bedazzling Faith

I love my Monday Zumba class.  The teacher is completely nuts.  It goes beyond a fitness class- it's a blast.  We tango.  We cha-cha.  We salsa.  We hip-hop.  We do group dances.  It makes me smile.

Sadly, I've missed class the past few weeks due to an insane workload and really, really frustrating computer issues.  So on Monday, when the network determined that I had apparently done enough work for the day (don't ask) I went out to lunch with a client and headed to the gym early.

Normally, I squeak in right as the class is starting and get stuck in the back.  It's not a huge deal, but I usually end up next to the newbies and spend a large portion of the class smacking into people who have no clue where they are going.  But this Monday, I was early!

As I waited outside I asked one of the older women who is amazing if she danced professionally.  She blushed and she said I made her day.  She apparently is Spanish and said it was genetic.

I headed into class, happy to have made someone's day and excited to get a spot in the center by the regulars.  I could see what's going on!!   I wouldn't spend half the class dodging flailing arms and running into people going the wrong way!

The music started.

I cha-cha'd.  I salsa'd.  After 2 songs we took a water break--

"Okay, grab some water."

Since I was in the middle, my water was at the edge of the room. I went, took a sip and as I went to move back into my primo spot- SHE moved in.

She avoided eye contact.  I glared.

She had committed a fitness class faux pas- you don't bogart someone's spot during a water break!

No, it's not a written rule.  It's simple etiquette people.

And it also left me homeless.  There were no spots available.  The class is packed.  The late people had filtered in.  So as I tried to squeeze in to find a spot, people gave ME dirty looks.  Hey, I was there on time.  I had my spot.  Don't be giving me the hairy eyeball.

And to make it worse, I finally ended up next to Flailing Girl.  The one who gets a little too into it.  Everyone knows.  That's why there was space around her.  She does a little independent footwork as well.  I spent half the class ducking her wild and crazy arms as she truly marched to the beat of her own drummer.  I tried to meander to a new spot, but no go.

During the next water break I tried to get my spot back, but SHE wouldn't move.

And then I saw it.

The blinged out half shirt said-- I couldn't make this up "Jesus Loves Me."

The fact that the woman was in her 50's, had a pony tail and a tanning booth tan was hilarious.

The fact that she was in a bedazzled Jesus half-shirt was BEYOND funny.

It was a little hard to keep a straight face.  Fortunately, since she was avoiding eye contact, she didn't see me cracking up.  I kept thinking "WWJD?"  I think Jesus would have politely moved to the back of the class and let me return to my awesome spot. 

So I spent the rest of the class meandering from spot to spot, avoiding Flailing Girl and apologizing for blocking people-- because that's how I roll.  The Catholic in me runs deep- I feel guilty even when it isn't my fault.

If only Father Ed had worn a bedazzled t-shirt perhaps I would have been more confident. I would have felt it was my Christian duty to take my rightful spot in class.

But alas, I am me.

Plus, I had on my "Life is Good" shirt with the happy, smiling stick figure in the lotus position.  My t-shirt advertised peace, love & happiness.  Kicking the crap out of the bedazzled, pony tailed, overly tan Jesus lover probably would not have been the best solution.  Although I would be lying if I didn't say the thought occurred to me....

Because in the end, life is good.  Computer issues, taxes, bad drivers, craziness- it's all part of it.  And I think bedazzled Jesus would agree.

Too bad the shirt didn't say "Do Unto Others"...


Helen said...

I would have insisted that she move and I would have asked her to her face, WWJD?

The Flying Endorphin said...

OMGOSH...I am rolling around, falling off my chair, reading this post. YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!!! Like Hilarious enough to write a book, or be a stand up comedienne or both! Heck I knew there was a crazy (in a good way) sparkle in your are a nut, like MESELF!!! Cya soon....

Mama Bean said...

Thank you so much!! I love your class-- it is so much fun!! I'm always sad when I miss it.

Also, I accidentally deleted your comment on my first post-- I fat fingered the button on my phone and deleted it rather than posted it. Arggh.