Having Fun with Pollsters

If you are fortunate enough like I am to live in a swing state, you get the pleasure of not only watching, non-stop anti-everything commercials telling you how the other guy (and occasional gal) is a crack smoking, cheating, lying thief you also get the pleasure of non-stop phone calls.

There are the automated phone calls.  Really Mitt? You're calling us?  Let me get my butler...  And Mr. President?  Call back after dinner and homework, please.

There are the poor college interns.  "Yes, Mrs. Bean, we noticed that you contributed during the last election...."  Those poor kids get an earful on the Dodd-Frank Act that doesn't allow me to make any contributions over $100, and those $5 ones need approval, too.  ...Yes, that's right...  Yes, I think it's unconstitutional as well, but it is the law...No, I'm not kidding... poor kids.  They are sad that they called.

There are the poll takers.  Now this one, very recently, as of today, has become a fun one.

I started to lie.

I give them the wrong issues.  I give them the candidate that I'm not voting for.

It makes me giggle.  My answers would make the unibomber proud.  I am probably on a watchlist now.  If I wasn't already.

But aren't I messing with the political process?

Nope.  Not at all.

In fact, I am on a personal quest to REALLY mess with them.

PAC (political action committees) typically pay for these polls.

PACs are typically very rich men (and the occasional woman) who call themselves something patriotic and pose as a large group of people. With the recent Supreme Court ruling, this is actually okay.

I think it's bullshit.

I don't think 12 people should be able to buy an election.

So if I screw up their polls, fantastic.  Let them think they are ahead in states when they aren't.  They are screwing with me.  They are pretending to care when in reality, they are pushing their own agendas.

Again, bullshit.

And I also think it's really sad that only a few states actually count in this election.  We went to Utah last month and saw ONE ad.  ONE.  Because if you live in UT, your vote is apparently already decided and you don't need to learn anything else about other candidates.  They have given up.

It's become a gaming strategy.

Shouldn't elections be about informing people about actual facts and data?

So if they won't give me the facts and data (well, without digging), I am protesting by not doing the same.

You mess with me and my family, I mess with you.

I know who I'm voting for.  I have for a long time.  I went to websites. I read the candidates' positions on things.  For local elections, because I am fairly involved in politics, I actually know many of the candidates.  I STRONGLY encourage people to meet the candidates before they vote.  Someone that you think is evil, probably isn't.  Someone that you think is the messiah, probably isn't either.  You can tell sincerity.  You can tell the manchurian candidates.  It's worth the effort.

But in the interim, rather than be annoyed with the calls, we have started jumping at the phone.  My husband was sad that the last pollster didn't get to him- the call disconnected

It's fun when it's a group that we're affiliated with and our answers don't match our demographic- you can hear the paper shuffling in the background.  Telling the DNC that we're voting for Romney or the RNC that we're voting for Obama... awesome.  You get to answer even MORE questions-- and they are leading questions, to... "Would you really vote for a candidate that supports child pornography?"  Seriously?

The fun thing about our family is that we're not easy to pigeon hole.  We are very liberal on certain issues.  We are very conservative on others.  I own a business and work in finance.  My husband is a teacher in a union.  We are gun owners.  We have children.  We have graduate degrees.  We have blue collar backgrounds.  We garden.  We hunt. 

This means we're on EVERYONE'S list.

And depending on whose turn it is to answer, we may be total extremists- on either side of the coin.

And let me tell you, it's been fun.

I encourage all of you to join me in helping manipulate the polls.  Let's force the candidates to tell us the truth and quit making it a game.

It's not a game.  It's not chess.  It's our future.

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