Being a Positive Person

It was interesting that just a few days ago I had a conversation with one of my favorite people about how both of us have positive, upbeat personalities and how in so many ways it puts pressure on us to be the perpetual cheerleaders.  We're never allowed to have bad days because we're the "nice"ones.  When we are in a pissy mood, people react.  If we were jerks all the time, they wouldn't care- but not Suzy Sunshines.

So when I posted that I quit Facebook, I got a LOT of comments, private messages, emails about it.  People said they would miss me and my humor.  I was even called the Erma Bombeck of Facebook (I want to print that on a coffee mug-- she is my idol).  I did not realize it would cause quite the stir.  I did want to let people know that I was disappearing.  I took a week or so off awhile back because I was busy and a few people were concerned that something bad had happened.  I loved that people really did enjoy my silly posts and looked forward to them.  Quite honestly, I think that's very cool.  Call me vain, I don't care, it did make me smile.  Nice to feel noticed.

First, I would like to explain that while I realize I can hide people, I don't think I should have to.  And I actually have hidden people.  A lot.  To a point I didn't see the point.  In my real life, my friends are awesome.  I was learning some awful things about people that quite honestly, I could have gone on for the rest of my life NOT knowing.  Especially the bigotry stuff.  But now I know and it sickens me.  So, since no one is holding a gun to my head to be on Facebook, as an adult, I choose to not participate.  I will live in my happy real world.  Unlike a lot of people, my reality is quite lovely.

Which quite a few of you so wonderfully pointed out.  How it was inspiring to see normal, happy people.

I was very genuinely touched. 

Which brings me to the second part of my blog.

You can be happy, too.

This is how..... it's quite easy...

When you wake up in the morning, choose to be happy.

Honestly, that's it.

I do it 99% of the time.

I had a boyfriend about 20 years ago who asked me one morning as we got ready for work (yes, I'm a slut, get over it), how I did it.

Did what, I asked?

Be so happy all the time.  Nothing gets you down, he told me.

I laughed.   And I said "It's easy.  Today when I woke up, I wasn't dead.  That's a good day."

It's really that easy.  I'm not dead.  I could be dead.  I am not.

Great way to start to the day- not being dead.  Pretty much every moment after that is my choice.

And no, I am not always happy.  I have a very, dark, twisted cynical side that only a few true friends get to see.  If you think I'm funny when I'm happy, Cynical Mama Bean puts Dennis Miller to shame.  I'm like the bastard child of him and Roseanne.  My husband sometimes spits when I say something,  uncharacteristically dark.  Because trust me, the bubble over my head can be vicious.  It is so out of character that it's extra funny.

I choose to filter it though.  Consciously.  I can easily rip someone a new one.  Trust me.  I am extremely quick witted and verbal.  My husband has accused me of going straight for the jugular in a fight.  But why?  Why make the world an angrier place?

My whole life is a series of randomness.  It's a complete fluke that I ended up in Vegas-- I walked away from a great guy and a dream job.  It's a complete fluke that I met my husband.   He is my world and makes everything better.  And if you're a frequent reader, you know that I am an accidental parent and I cannot imagine a world without my children.  I am such a better person because of them.

It hasn't been my life choices that I made that made the difference-- my life largely chooses me-- it's how I've reacted to my circumstances.  And I always use the baseline that I am not dead, so things must be good.

Rather than nag my husband about every little stinking thing he does wrong, I choose to see what he does right- which is far more than is wrong.  Most days.  I respect him as a choice.  The better wife I am, the better husband he is-- and vice versa.  Crazy how that works.

My kids can be exhausting, but I adore them.  They are these awesome little people that I am privileged to have in my life.  What a gift.  and yes, it's work, but what isn't?  I hate, hate, hate when people bitch about their kids.  The rant from time to time is fine, but I HATE when people act like their children are a burden.  Didn't you read the warning label on the box? 

So many people have the same opportunities I've had and they squander it by constantly wanting more.  Their life is never enough.  I've had people say "I want what you have."  And I usually reply "I just appreciate what I have."

I want for nothing.  Everything I need is within me.

Completely cheesy, I know.  But I swear, it's not a motivational bumper sticker-- it's my reality. 

Seriously. 

So today I woke up and I wasn't dead.

It was Monday.  It had a few challenges.  I had to make a decision today that was frustrating.  Like so many people, I couldn't sleep all weekend because I kept thinking of the children and their parents in Newtown.  I wasn't a very nice Daisy leader tonight.  I am tired.  I am tired of my new, sweet dog waking me up.  I am tired of my old, crippled dog keeping me up.  But we laughed at dinner- even made my son almost shoot water out his nose.  To which he said "You're still not cool- you're funny, but not cool."  I'm not cool.  But my son thinks I'm funny.

And that my friends, is a good day.