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Thursday, January 7, 2016

#Letgo

Thank you to Judy Ervin Porter for posting the video below.  Please watch.


Last year I know I annoyed a lot of people with saying No. No to volunteering. No to late appointments. No to Girls Night Out. No to Book Club. No to fundraising. "What's wrong with Lori?" they've asked.

Nothing.

I have the very amazing privilege of working with people in various stages of their lives. I have watched people age over the past 20 years. Loud and clear I hear how they want more time to just enjoy and live more slowly.

I have always struggled with:

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more."

Luke 12:48

I've felt obligated because I have been given much.  

"But you would be so good at this..."

For now, the answer is no. It doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy being with you. It doesn't mean I don't support your causes. It just means I need to breathe. To enjoy to life.

I am so grateful for my family, my career, my friends, my clients-- all of it.

But if I didn't step back to simply enjoy it, I will miss it.  And then what was the point?

So please, before you ask, the answer is no.

For 45 years, it was "What else can I do?  How can I help?"

But right now, no.

I'm taking a break. Putting on my own oxygen mask.

Last year it felt pretty darn good, so I'm sticking with it.  

No.

Of course, no doesn't mean hibernating -- I'm certainly still engaged, but it's in the things that impact my kids and my family.

Girl Scouts is fun time with my daughter and her friends.
Helping with jazz band is one of my favorite hours all week.  My son commented that the kids enjoy it, too- I'm apparently "cool."  How many moms play trombone?

I love our alumni committee and I truly enjoy working with the high school seniors- love it.  They are inspiring and make me hopeful.  I get to see their lives change and doors open.

My business, while tedious at times, is rewarding and I know I make a difference.  I just cleaned out my office at the beginning of the year and I have a file of letters & cards clients have sent over the years thanking me.  When it's a bad day, I read them, cry and remember the world doesn't suck

But you need someone to do this and to do that and to change the world?

For now, the answer is no.

2 comments:

Marianne Pizzitola said...

Well said. Tomorrow is promised to no one. I was like you. I was raised to help because I could. Shortly after 9.11 I retired from the FDNY and in 2009 i decided to live for me
Help me. Do what I loved
I had to learn those things because I never served me. Ever. This past year I was forced to put my priorities in order again. And when I closed my business and decided my family needed me more people were not happy with me either. Ya know what? The decision was right for me
And I'm steering my ship once again. It's too easy to get lost pleasing others. Take back control. You will love yourself for it and no regrets. Great post.

Mama Bean said...

Just breathe.

I tend to not get bent out of shape easily- I told my husband I like to save all the emotion for when the shit really hits the fan.

But with that said, because I'm usually optimistic and resourceful, people tap into it and drain it. And, since I'm resilient, I always felt like it was my duty. I bounce back easily. Most people don't.

But the last few years, it was really taking its toll. It really stunned me when I started to cut back how put off people were by it. How dare I! Or my favorite "EVERYONE is busy." There's busy, then there's MamaBean busy. I don't want to whip out a list and say "let me show you what I did before 9 am THEN we can talk...." And I refuse to do things if I'm going to do a half-assed job.

So that video really rang true. If it's something I love- like my work, or the activities with my kids- then yes. Otherwise, no for now.

I'm going to sit on the couch with my husband and watch a movie.

Just cuz.

So there.