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Friday, June 17, 2011

My Dad

I know you wanted to hear more about my boobs, but that will have to wait.  In short, I'm thrilled with the surgery and based on the actual tissue removed, I am confident that my insurance company will be covering the costs.

But since it's Father's Day on Sunday, I wanted to write about my dad.

We've always been fairly close.  My dad gets me.

When he realized I was smart, he was ecstatic.  He immediately tried to teach me 10 times more than what my second grade math homework required.  The next time I asked him a question on homework was my senior year.  It was calculus.  He wished me well.

When I was accepted into Cornell I called him at work.  We had discussed that if I got in, I probably would not be able to go. I had a free ride to Ohio University and it made sense for me to go there financially (free is always good).  I was surprised when he said "That is great.  Listen, I may not be able to give you a million dollars, but I will be sure to help you get an education so you can earn it yourself.  We'll make it work."  Pretty cool, huh?

When I was contemplating leaving a cushy job at Pepsi to drive across country, take a huge pay cut and work at The Mirage my dad laughed and asked me "Is this one of the times you are asking me what I would do so you can do the opposite?"  I sheepishly said yes.  He told me he would stay with the cushy job, but thought I shouldn't.  He said he had no regrets on what he'd done, only the things he hadn't.  I moved west.  Best decision ever.

When I had started in my current career, had $8.13 in my checking account and my best friend who had just graduated from Harvard Law School was coming to visit before starting her well paid job, I called my dad and said I was feeling really depressed. Because depression runs in our family, I was worried I might be  suffering from it.  He said "No sweetie, it's not depression.  Your life sucks right now.  If I were you, I'd be depressed, too."  And then we laughed.  He was right.

When I went through more than one engagement, he took it in stride.  When my husband called to ask him for my hand in marriage my dad's comment "Good luck getting her down the aisle."

My very conservative father even got used to me shacking up.  He said while he was morally opposed to it, he thought it had saved me from making some bad decisions on marriage.  I had changed his mind.

Like I said, he just gets me.

I can count on one hand the number of fights we've had-- I think two- in my life.  Not bad.  I was not a volatile teenager.  He was not a controlling dad.  Not sure which came first, though. 

One time, when I fell asleep at my boyfriend's house and came home after 2 am, he said nothing.  He did wake me up, make me go to 8 am mass (which he usually didn't make- he was a noon mass goer) and then kept me busy all day.  At the end of the day when I said I was exhausted, he simply said "I guess you shouldn't stay out until 2 am."  Point made.  Never did it again.

We are close in the way that good friends are- we can talk about anything, often to his discomfort.  I have never lied to my parents.  Sometimes, I'm sure they wished I would have.

My father has always been my biggest fan, my biggest critic and my most trusted resource.  I would not be the person I am today without his honest feedback.  He has never held back and I've always taken it as a sign of respect.  He has never blown smoke up my ass. 

We have an untraditional father-daughter relationship in some respects- more like colleagues.  But I wouldn't change it for the world.  We know each other's flaws (which are nearly identical) and I think it gives us a richer, more genuine relationship.  

So many of my friends have lost their fathers over the past few years.  I feel very lucky and fortunate to have mine around and I hope I do for a very long time.  I would be lost without him.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!  I love you!

1 comment:

vitor68 said...

Sounds like you have a great Dad!