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Thursday, January 24, 2013

Day 3- Rumpshaking and Being Fat.

Yes, Day 3.

And I wanted to go back to sleep.

But my neighbor would be there.

Yes, John, I was thinking of you this morning as I rolled out of bed.

It was a later night than usual- Wednesday ;) --- so I was tired.

But I went.

I saw my neighbor.  He was killing it on the elliptical.  He didn't see me.

But I did wave hi to every other shaved headed man in a red shirt for the next 30 minutes.

Not him.

Oops.

And I believe it was him at the red light, rolling down his window to say "Wassup" but I was too busy singing and dancing to "Rumpshaker."

I like a little house music in the morning.

Oops.

I dialed it in a bit today, but I went. 

My friend Helen who writes a fantastic blog on her fitness and weight loss journey wrote a great one on perhaps she should accept that she is going to be fat.

I should point out that she just got her black belt in Muay Thai.  She kicks ass.  Literally.

And here are my random thoughts on that--

This year I may not lose any weight.  I will probably lose some, but honestly, I have been at this weight for nearly 10 years now.  Consistently.

I had a friend say that she was going to start to do something-- join a networking group-- once she lost 30 pounds.

This made me sad.  I told her that.

I am putting nothing on hold until I lose weight.  I've done that before.  I started to let it go a few years ago.  I think this year I have fully accepted that I may stay at this weight and it is completely irrelevant.

Which is making it a little easier to drop a few.

Ironic, isn't it?  Once I quit caring, it started to work.

I am working out and eating healthy so that I don't drop dead from a heart attack.  I can't keep putting it off.  We all know someone in their 40s who died from heart failure .  It's not that unusual.  It's the #1 killer of women.

If eating healthy and exercising happen to result in some weight loss, great.  If it doesn't, oh well.  It certainly isn't hurting me.

I will have a donut every month or so.  I will eat a little chocolate and have some wine.

I will also push a little harder at the gym because to be honest, there isn't any time left to put it off.

I don't want to be 70 and not able to go up a flight of stairs.  At 90 sure.  Not at 70.  I work with a lot of older people and every day I'm reminded that for the most part, the quality of your life is a choice.


My amazing husband has lost 175 pounds over the past 4 years.  He and my son hiked up Lone Mountain 2 weeks ago.  He was shocked he could do it-- he's lived here his whole life and never tried.  He was GLOWING when they got back.  His quality of life is so different from 4 years ago.  He's a participant not a spectator. 

It's amazing when the motivation has nothing to do with the scale or the size, but really is about the quality of my life that it makes it a little bit easier to get to the gym.  A little easier to eat healthy.

I would really like to lose weight.  I won't lie, it would be great to feel a little better about myself.  It would be a great way to show the world "Hey-- look at what I can do!" 

But if this doesn't result in weight loss, I can't throw in the towel, because that's not what it's about any longer.

I get it.

2 comments:

Helen said...

The last couple of sentences here is where my train of thought came from for that blog. It's not that I want to be at this weight, but if by saying I'm not going to make myself crazy "dieting" and I'm going to focus on good food and exercise with health as my goal, I may be making the choice to be fat. If so, I guess I need to make peace with that, right?

Mama Bean said...

I know what you mean. It's not worth beating yourself up about a number on the scale if you're doing everything you can. And by the way you are not fat. You are a freaking black belt. That is insane.